We're All Mad Here
by Shrimp Mayo
Summary: Rachel doesn't know what to expect when her fathers decide to send her to a mental institution. Scratch that, she expected wackos and mad doctors. But what she finds is blonde and hazel that makes her start to wonder if she really is crazy. Faberry/Dantana
1. I Don't Belong Here

Chapter One: I Don't Belong Here

_Title: We're All Mad Here._

_Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Santana/Dani, Mike/Tina, Kurt/Blaine_

_Summary: Rachel doesn't know what to expect when her fathers decide to send her to a mental institution. Scratch that, she expected wackos and mad doctors. But what she finds is blonde and hazel that makes her start to wonder if she really is crazy._

_Notes: Completely AU. I am not a psychologist. What I write is from what I've researched, what I've talked about with friends that suffer from some of the disorders mentioned here, and my own imagination. I apologize if I make mistakes. Those were not on purpose._

* * *

It's a rare bright day when the small black car speeds down a deserted highway. The weather seems to rival the dark mood of one girl currently seated in the back seat of said car. Her eyes doesn't stray from the window. She's still wishing that the scenery wouldn't change from the one she is familiar with, to a foreign landscape. Her life is slipping from her hands with every mile the car drives.

She just wishes that, by some miraculous way, the car would stop and turn around. Turn around and lead her away from the hell that awaits her.

But, alas, all hope is lost once the immaculately white building comes to sight past some tall trees. Her teeth grit in pained anticipation. She doesn't belong there.

"I don't belong here," she mutters in a last attempt as the car makes the turn toward the set of buildings. A large wall and gate serves as the last barrier between the world and this prison.

She almost laughs when the car slows to a stop in front of the closed gate. She doesn't know if it's hope that they might change their minds, or if it's her nerves seeping in, or maybe it's just a sick sense of humor she finds in her as she sees the sign.

_William McKinley Mental Institution. They aren't very creative, _she muses.

A man wearing a white lab robe walks towards the car with a clipboard in hand. _I hate him already._ "A very fine morning to you, sir. What may I do for you?" he asks with a chipper tone. His smile is wide. His dark hair is slicked back neatly, and his eyes are bright with spunk. _Pretentious_.

The tall, dark man in the driver seat smiles politely at the boy. "My daughter is here to see Dr. Schuester," he says in a tone one cannot decipher.

Rachel wants to turn to her Daddy and plead for him to take her back home. She wants to look at her Dad, who is seated in front of her at the passenger's seat, and have him see the fault in what they're doing. But she doesn't. She's far too tired to move her head from the window.

The doctor nods at Rachel's Daddy, Kevin, and motions for him to go on through the now opened gate. Kevin proceeds to drive the car slowly, painfully so. It's as if he's giving Rachel time to adjust to her new surroundings. She doesn't want that. She wants the light pink walls of her bedroom back.

She hates her dads for sending her here.

* * *

Rachel walks into the pristine main hall of the largest building in the complex. Her eyes wander around aimlessly, feeling the undeniable urge to straighten a crookedly hung portrait of the institution's founder. She doesn't move from her place, sandwiched between her dads, though. She tears her eyes away from the portrait even if it is unbearable.

The three of them stop in front of a receptionist's counter where a red head is sitting. She smiles widely at them and regards Rachel with understanding eyes. She moves to leave her counter to greet the Berry family with more familiarity.

"Welcome. I'm Emma Pillsburry. You must be the Berrys," she greets with a sickly sweet smile, but doesn't hold out her hand. She doesn't take the outstretched hand of Leroy, Rachel's Dad, either. Instead she just nods before turning to quickly straighten the portrait.

Rachel quietly sighs in relief.

Leroy's hand drops once he realizes there will be no hand shaking taking place. "We are," he answers instead. "We would like to speak to Mr. Schuester about our daughter's admittance into your institution." At that, he hold a firm hand on Rachel's shoulder, which causes the shorter girl to straighten up and smooth her already perfect dress.

"Ahh, yes. Will is just dealing with someone right now. If you could only wait a couple of minutes," Emma gestures to the black leather couches. Leroy nods and leads his family to the couches.

Kevin and Rachel take the couch. Leroy hovers over them.

"You're going to be okay, baby girl," Kevin tries to console her. Rachel could see his eyes becoming glassy.

"I don't belong here, Daddy," she whispers. "You know that."

Leroy's voice was firm and commanding, unlike the quiet one of his partner. "I expect you not to cause the authorities in this institution trouble. We will visit every two weeks, and I would appreciate it if I were not to arrive to troubling news."

Rachel hangs her head low. "Yes, Dad."

"And every day spent here will be an effort to cure whatever disability is ailing you."

Rachel wants to scream. There's no disability ailing her. They should just bring her back home. But she bites her cheek and nods.

Kevin opens his mouth to speak, but whatever words he has planned are cut off by someone clearing their throat. The three of them turn to regard the brown haired man wearing a white lab coat and a smile.

"Pleasure to meet you. My name is William Schuester and I run WMMI. You must be Leroy Berry," Will asks Rachel's Dad who, in reply, nods.

"I am. This is my husband, Kevin, and my daughter, Rachel," Leroy answers, gesturing to both respectively. "I would like to be assured that my daughter will be duly taken care of during the entirety of her stay in your domain."

Will smiles at this. "You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Berry. Rachel will be just fine here, and if she cooperates enough, she would be rehabilitated in no time."

"And what of the other patients?"

"The other patients are well-behaved, and if we do believe they have overstepped a boundary, we have the proper equipment to deal with them. We also have twenty-four hour surveillance, so nothing can sneak past us."

"That's good. What are your treatments?"

Will looks at Rachel before turning back to her father. "Our method of treatment varies with the disorder the patient possesses. Once we have accurately diagnosed Rachel, we will inform you of the path we would like to take her on."

"I'm impressed. What will be her rooming accommodations here? I know that your setup is similar to that of a dormitory, but would that involve her having a roommate?"

"Yes." Rachel blanches. "Rachel will be rooming with one of our new comers. We believe it to be therapeutic for both parties to be involved in a similar environment."

"But- But what if-"

"Rachel," Leroy's voice is stern. "Do not speak unless spoken to."

Rachel shrinks visibly. "I apologize."

Leroy merely nods before he turns back to the doctor, who is watching him with a cautious eye. "I put my daughter into your hands, Dr. Schuester."

"You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Berry. Rachel will be safe here," Will assures.

"Very well then. I shall get her luggage."

"Jesse will help you," Will gestures to the boy that admitted them in earlier. Leroy nods and leads the boy outside. Will returns his attention to the two left in front of him. He smiles warmly at Rachel. "Rachel. I'll be handling you for the rest of your stay. I hope we can become friends, and that you'll build some friendship with the others as well."

Rachel lets her head hang. She doubts that she would make friends in here, but she looks up and nods silently.

She tries valiantly not to cry when her Daddy hugs her and whispers, "You're strong. You'll get through this. Be brave, baby girl."

* * *

"Down that hall is the cafeteria. Our cook is marvelous and her dishes are always amazing. I understand that you're vegan, but don't worry because we have vegan-friendly choices in our menu as well. No animal products whatsoever so-"

Rachel tunes out as she follows Dr. Schuester around. She doesn't really want to memorize the paths she needs to take. She doesn't want any sort of familiarity with the drab white walls.

"-is still under construction, but you can still head on to the Rec hall. The grand piano there is a bit old so there's the possibility that it's a bit out of tune but we-"

Rachel stops in her tracks. Her eyes light up in excitement. "You have a grand piano?"

Will pauses as well and smiles. "Yes. It's a bit dusty, but I'm sure it works nicely."

Rachel seems to gather herself as her expression changes into something a bit more somber. "I- uhm - Are we allowed to play it?"

"Well, no one's played it in a while..." Rachel's expression droops even more. "But, it would be wonderful if we could get some music around this place."

Rachel lets herself smile softly at this. "Thank you."

"It's no problem. So, are you ready to meet your roommate?" Will asks encouragingly.

The tiny brunette pales. "I- Uhh- Can you- Am I allowed to ask a few questions first?"

"I don't think it would be a problem."

"How long has she been here?"

"A few months. Three, I think."

"Was she a self-admittance like me?" Rachel frowns at the question. She isn't a self-admittance, but it's better than how some others are dragged away forcibly.

Will looks sad as he answers, "No. It was the hospital that sent her to us."

"Hospital?"

"I think that's something she needs to tell you herself."

Rachel nods in understanding. She can respect her roommate's privacy.

She looks around when Dr. Schuester pauses. They are in a long, wide hallway. The doors around are numbered, from 201 to 209. There's one person in front of the door Rachel sees as 203. She's a tall blonde with bright blue eyes. She's wearing a pink tank top and black shorts.

"Good afternoon, Brittany. Out for a run?" Will asks.

The blonde skips towards the two with a huge smile. "Yup, Doctor." She pumps her arms. "Gotta exercise or else I'll be fat and flabby." Her eyes widen. "Oh my God, I would be like a whale! That would be so amazing."

Will chuckles. "But exercise is still important... Even if whales are amazing."

Rachel notices that the girl is practically bouncing where she stands. "They're so cute too. And I bet they would be so fluffy when I hug them. Do you think there's a place nearby where I can hug a whale?"

"I don't think so, Britt."

"There's an orca in the local zoo, I think."

Blue eyes turn to Rachel. The tiny brunette watches as the tall girl tips her head to the side and scrunches her nose. "But I don't like okras."

"Orca," Will corrects. "They're a type of whale. You know, those killer whales."

Brittany's eyes widen in recognition and she's buzzing again. "The ones who look like pandas but with fins?" Will nods. "I wanna go see them." She turns and gives Rachel a big hug. The shorter girl freezes up at the contact. And just as quick as the hug began, it ended. "I'm gonna go see if Emma can take me to the zoo to swim with the orcas."

Will smiles. "You go do that, Britt." The blonde smiles and practically runs away. Rachel would be surprised if she didn't leave a wave of dust in her wake.

"She's... Interesting."

"She's Brittany. She's been here since she was a child." Will smiles down at Rachel, who looks surprised at the news. "Her very rich parents didn't want their ADHD child to keep messing up dinner parties so they sent her here."

"But why isn't she cured yet?" Rachel wonders aloud.

"You mean, why don't we sedate her?" Rachel hangs her head in embarrassment. "Here, we don't believe much in the use of drugs as treatment. We hope to try and help our patients cope with whatever's bothering them enough to be sent here by providing a careful and peaceful environment. If all else fails, that's when we use drugs."

Rachel only nods, not fully understanding it.

"Well, you're in Room 207." Will says after a while. He leads the girl to the door with a '207' engraved in it.

Rachel gulps audibly as she reaches out for the doorknob.

The room is spacious. It's not what Rachel expected. The warm yellow walls of the room is refreshing from the dull white outside. The furniture and decorations are also homey, but Rachel can see that whatever's inside has been inspected thoroughly. There are two beds in the room. An empty one sits to the left of Rachel, near the window. The other is against the wall to Rachel's right, and houses a blonde holding a guitar.

Rachel runs her eyes up and down her roommate's form. The girl is sitting at the edge of her bed, strumming on her acoustic guitar. She had looked up when the two arrived, and is now sporting a small smile. Her hair is dyed blonde, as Rachel can see the brown roots showing. She can also see that her roommate sports a tattoo of birds in flight in her arm. The other arm is covered in bandage though.

"Hello, Dani," Will greets.

"Hey, Doc," Dani greets back in a more somber tone. Her brown eyes flicker to Rachel. "And you must be the roommate." She sets her guitar carefully down her bed as she stands up and holds her hand out. "I'm Danielle Sugg, but please just call me Dani."

Rachel accepts the hand, albeit hesitantly. "I'm Rachel Berry. Nice to meet you."

The blonde retracts her hand and gestures to the left side of the room. "That's your side. Jesse already put your luggage in here earlier." Rachel could see her bags at the foot of the bed.

Will nods to himself. "Alright. I'll leave you two to it." He turns to Rachel. "We can have an one on one talk tomorrow morning to get you settled in." Then he moves on to Dani. "There's group later. Will you be coming?"

Dani's nod is hesitant, "Yeah, sure."

Then Will leaves them. Rachel is shuffling in her place awkwardly.

"Umm, so... What are you in for?" Dani asks, wincing after she says it. "Sorry, that's wrong."

Rachel shakes her head slowly. "It's fine. I don't know why I'm here, though." She adds in a whisper, "I don't belong here."

Dani eyes her sympathetically, but tries to change the topic to something a little less depressing. She couldn't have her roommate be weirded out by her during their first day. So she opts for something she has always found refuge in - music. She grabs her guitar and sits down on her bed. "You sing?"

Rachel's eyes light up like Dani said the magic words.

They talk about music for hours. Dani doesn't go to group. Rachel starts feeling normal again. Night creeps up on them.

The day ends with a smile on Rachel Berry's face. Maybe her stay wouldn't be so bad. She still had music.

And her roommate isn't an axe murderer, so, yeah.

* * *

_Updates will probably be few and far between as I don't have reliable internet connection. I am determined to finish this fic._


	2. Meet The Crazies

Chapter Two: Meet The Crazies

xoxo

Well, apparently, Rachel was wrong.

She wakes up in the middle of the night, groggy and disoriented. She blinks away the sleep as she takes in her surroundings. She shakes her head at the mild heart attack she has when she's greeted by warm yellow walls instead of her bright pink ones.

That's when she sees the form huddled in the corner. Specifically, in the corner where her roommate's bed resides. Her heart rate picks up again as she gingerly watches the unmoving shadow.

She hears the soft sigh echo around the room. Then she's certain it's followed by a sob.

Her heart immediately goes out to her roommate. Why is she crying in the middle of the night? Rachel wants to go up to her, comfort her, and maybe belt out an inspiring number. Then she remembers she's in a mental institution. And she has no idea what her roommate is in for.

She suffers through an internal debate. Will she comfort her new friend, or stay and act as if she's asleep?

_Oh, fuck it._

"Dani?"

The sobbing and sighs immediately stop. It takes a few agonizing minutes, where Rachel berates herself for even opening her mouth, before Dani replies with, "Why are you still awake, Rachel?"

Rachel gathers confidence at the vulnerable sound of Dani's voice and she stands up. "Why are you?"

"I couldn't sleep." Rachel knows there's more to it than that. She takes a few tentative steps forward. Dani notices this and barks out, "Stay away."

With the sliver of moonlight creeping in from a window, Rachel sees a glint of light from Dani's hand. She gasps, recognizing the item. Then a rusty smell permeates her nose. _No way._

She runs straight to Dani and takes the bloodied hand in her own. She plucks the blade out from the girl's shaking hands and throws it over her shoulder. "Dani? Why?" Dammit. And why doesn't this place have better security? How the hell did Dani get her hands on a blade when even razors for her legs aren't allowed? Is Dr. Schuester stupid or something?

Dani's sobbing into her shoulders, and Rachel doesn't even care that she won't be able to get a proper night's sleep.

xoxo

Morning finds Dani asleep with her head on Rachel's shoulder. The brunette has her head against the wall, her eyes fluttering open as the first rays of dawn make their way inside the room. Her eyes immediately turn to the girl next to her, then to the girl's wrist that she still cradled against her chest. The wound has stopped bleeding and it's allowing Rachel to examine the damage.

There is one long slim slice horizontally under Dani's palm, and three cuts beneath that. There's no pattern to how they're cut, and two of them cross over one another. Rachel's eyes begin to water at the sight.

"I'm sorry."

Brown eyes snap back to the owner of the wrist. She finds anxious light brown eyes staring back at her, but they lack the gusto the diva saw just the day before.

"Don't be sorry, Dani. Don't ever be sorry for this," Rachel stresses. "But you have to tell me where you got the blade."

The blonde's eyes flicker to the ground where Rachel threw the blade. "I can't really- I don't know if I should tell that to someone I just met yesterday."

Rachel's eyes flash with hurt, but she pushes it down, understanding where the girl's coming from. "I know. But at least tell it to your roommate."

This causes Dani to run her eyes over her roommates friend. She bites her lower lip in contemplation, her eyes trained on the other girl's eyes. After seven painstakingly long minutes, she finally says a name, "Sebastian."

Rachel doesn't ask who he is. She has a feeling she would find out soon enough. Instead, she just holds the girl closer to herself.

xoxo

"Everything will be alright, Rach," Dani mutters as encouragingly as she can.

Rachel nods distractedly as they make their way down the hall. It's a place Rachel doesn't recognize - she guesses she tuned Will out during this part of his tour. They stop in front of mahogany double doors and Rachel gulps audibly.

The blonde notices her roommate's hesitance and takes Rachel's hand. This gets the brunette to look at her. "Hey. It's just group," Dani says. "You'll be fine. I mean, you handled me alright, didn't you?"

Rachel lips curve upwards faintly. "Yeah, I did." Her eyes flicker back to the door. "I'm just-"

"What the fuck?"

The two girls whip their heads to the right, and that's when Rachel first sees her.

She swears that every bit of cliché takes place at that moment. The slow motion, the heart skipping beats, the throat drying up, everything. She's beautiful. The girl has long blonde hair that illuminates into a golden halo because of the fluorescent lights. Her eyes are swirls of green and hazel that Rachel has never seen before. Her body is perfectly defined. Rachel could see that even from the dark grey hoodie and sweatpants the girl wears. She's breathtaking, and Rachel can't take her eyes off of her.

The goddess turns to her dark haired companion with bored eyes. Rachel can't help but follow the direction those gorgeous eyes went to. She finds herself staring into flaming dark brown eyes. She flinches away immediately, before taking in the girl's appearance. She's shorter than her blonde companion, but definitely taller than Rachel. Her silky black hair falls just below her shoulders. She wears a tight blue tee that shows off her assets wonderfully.

Rachel decides that she's looking at two goddesses, even if one of them looks like she's set to kill her. She vaguely recognizes how Dani freezes up next to her.

"Who the fucking hell are you?" the brunette demands, her voice dripping of ice and venom.

Rachel feels the need to cower at the tone. She hangs her head low before answering as best as she can - which basically means stuttering like a fool. "R-R-Ra-Rachel Be-Berry, ma-ma'am." She chances a look up to find that the blonde goddess is raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her.

"Yeah?" the fiery brunette continues. "You're obviously new here, hobbit, so I'm going to set a few things straight with you. And fucking look at me when I'm talking to you, smurfette!"

Rachel immediately shoots her head up at the commanding tone. "I-I-"

"Did I say you could fucking talk, Rudolf?"

"No-" Rachel bites her lips in order to stop from further angering the girl. It fails.

"Oh, this little piece of shitty-"

"Santana, let's just go."

The velvety voice makes Rachel look up. She sees the brunette, who she figures is called Santana, turn her laser-eyes towards the blonde goddess.

"You don't get to order me around, Tubbers," Santana seethes.

This riles up the blonde, but her stone cold face doesn't give it away. "Don't call me that, Satan."

A smirk finds its way to Santana's lips. "Yeah? What are you going to do about it, Barbie? You know I can take-"

"Santana, please." The quiet plea comes from Rachel's right. Both brunette's eyes turn to Dani. Rachel notices that Dani's eyes are back to being dead, and she frowns.

"Dani," Rachel swears she hears a certain calm in the way Santana says her roommate's name.

"This is stupid. We're going to be late for group," the blonde says as she makes her way past the three. Rachel's breathing stops when hazel eyes finds her for a moment before looking away as she pushes her way into the room. Rachel can't stop the sad flutter in her chest when she saw how those beautiful eyes looked... dead.

Santana frowns at the blonde's direction. After shooting a glance at Dani and shoulder checking Rachel, she makes her way into the room.

"I'm sorry," Dani whispers once the doors close again.

Rachel takes a moment to calm her heart from all her excitement before she says, "What for?"

Dani hangs her head low. "For, you know, Santana being such a bitch."

"It's not your fault."

"But still..."

Rachel frowns at the dejected tone. "Let's go in."

xoxo

They're the last ones to arrive in group. Rachel's throat closes up as she sees the ten or so people sitting in the circle with Will. They quickly take the last two available seats, where Rachel is next to the blonde, who's next to Santana. Santana continues to glare daggers at Rachel.

"All right. We're all here now," Will says once the two girls got comfortable in their seats. "I'm thinking we should all start with an introduction since we have a new member joining us."

"Dobby-wannabe should start," Santana growls out.

Will shoots her a disapproving look before smiling deviously. "Thank you for volunteering, Santana. You should start."

Santana's glare is positively life-threatening. Rachel slumps down on her chair and tries to avoid eye contact.

After a few minutes of non-stop glaring, Santana finally speaks up, "I'm Santana Lopez. I've been here for a year and seven months. I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder." At that she smirks at Rachel. "So, kobold, watch your back."

"Thank you, Santana. Although that last comment was inappropriate," Will says with a worried glance over to the shaking Rachel. "Who would like to go next? Dani?"

Dani nods while placing a reassuring hand on Rachel's back. Santana watches with a scowl. "I, umm, I'm Danielle Sugg. I've been here for three and a half months. I have..." Her brown eyes shift nervously. "Major Depressive Disorder."

"Wonderful, Dani. You're doing very well. Next up?"

A guy with a mohawk raises his hand. "Name's Noah Puckerman. Call me Puck. I've been here for nine months. I'm a nymphomaniac, which means I'm awesome in bed." He shoots a wink Rachel's way. "Just call me if you have an itch that needs to be scratched."

Rachel, for her part, blushes profusely.

"Uhh, thank you, Puck. Kurt, would you like to go next?"

Rachel looks up and watches the handsome boy, who wears girlier clothing than her, regard the group with a smile. The brunette hides her frown at the fact that the boy is even prettier than her.

"I'm Kurt Hummel, terribly ugly name for such a gorgeous lady as I. Fear not, once I'm released from here, I'll have the papers and proper surgery finished so that I can finally be who I was meant to be. Ahh, I've been getting carried away. I've been here for two years now, and the Doctor here feels like I have Gender Identity Disorder." He frowns as if he finds the accusation stupid.

"Freak," is mumbled followed by chuckling. All eyes turn to the pristinely dressed man, who arches his brow at them in challenge.

Will frowns at him. "That kind of behavior is not tolerated here, Sebastian."

Rachel's eyes widen and her mouth opens to speak, but Dani's hand on hers tightens minutely. She shoots a worried glance at her roommate, who keeps her eyes on the floor.

"Perhaps you'd like to go next?" Will asks, unamused.

Sebastian grins slyly. "Very well, then. My name is Sebastian Smythe. I've been in this wonderful establishment for a month now. Apparently, the world could not handle my goodwill and love, so I was forced to enter this foundation."

Santana scoffs. "Goodwill and love."

Will just shakes his head. "Sebastian. You have been diagnosed to be a pathological liar and a sadist. We've been over this before."

Sebastian places a hand over his heart and gasps dramatically, but Rachel sees the glimmer in his eyes. "Why, I never. A liar? A sadist? Woeful accusations, Doctor."

Will just sighs. "Who's next?"

An Asian guy speaks up, "I am, Doctor." Then he regards the rest of the group, his gaze hardening around Quinn, Santana, and Sebastian. They land on Rachel with a smile. "I'm Mike Chang. I've been here for thirteen months, and I have BPD." He sees Rachel's confused expression and elaborates, "Borderline Personality Disorder. No biggie."

Rachel nods. No biggie.

"Oh!" Brittany exclaims with her hand in the air. "Me next. Me next." Will smiles and nods. Brittany claps excitedly. "Yay. Umm, okay. I'm Brittany S. Pierce and I've always lived in the shadow of Britney Spears. I can totally out dance her, though. I've been here since I was five and- and- and-"

"And you're hyperactive." Sebastian interrupts with a yawn. "Can't we do this any faster? I'm getting bored."

Will frowns at him. "Sebastian. You'll be having an one-on-one with me later."

"Joy."

Will sighs. "I'll have to cut group short today. Sebastian, we need to have a talk in my office. The ones who are finished are free to go. The others can introduce yourselves to Rachel. Rachel, don't forget to introduce yourself as well." With that, Will leaves, with a bored looking Sebastian trailing behind.

An Asian girl is out of her seat as soon as the words leave Will's mouth. Rachel frowns at the girl's lack of manners.

"That was Tina," Dani whispers to her. "She's been here, four and a- wait, no... She's been here eight months now. She's agoraphobic."

"Ahh," Rachel nods in understanding.

Puck stands up from his seat and approaches the two. "Hey, I was serious with my offer earlier. If you need anything..." He waggles his eyebrows lecherously.

"Keep it in your pants, Puckerman." Santana sneers from her seat beside Dani.

"Yeah, Puck. Leave them alone," a kid in a wheelchair being pushed by Mike says. Then he turns to Rachel. "I'm Artie. Nice to meet you." He extends his gloved hand.

Rachel smiles and shakes his hand firmly. "I'm Rachel."

"I'll see you around. Oh, and you should finish up her quickly before Puck inhales all the food." He grins before patting Mike's hand, making the Asian boy roll him away.

Once he's out of sight, Dani leans over to Rachel and whispers, "Dependent Personality Disorder."

Rachel nods. From the corner of her eye, she sees Kurt and a boy with gelled hair stand up.

"Hey, Kurtie. Gonna introduce your man to Green Goblin here?" Santana practically shouts. Dani and Rachel frowns while Kurt just rolls his eyes.

"Rachel, right? This is Blaine, my boyfriend." Kurt gestures to the seemingly out of it boy, before dragging him out.

"And... That's it." Dani breathes a sigh of relief as she stands up.

But Rachel frowns. That's not it.

Santana stands up as well, and moves towards Dani. "Hey, Dani."

"Santana."

The conversation of the two girls is lost on Rachel when she sees the blonde girl, that's still sitting primly on the plastic chair. She notices the brunette staring and turns to acknowledge her. "What do you want?" The words are icy and it makes Rachel shiver.

Dani notices this and turns away from her conversation with Santana. This infuriates the Latina. "Rach, are you-"

"Okay, enough. Dani, what the fuck? I was talking to you, god dammit." Rachel sees that Santana is shaking with rage and she feels fear rake through her. As if sensing this, Santana turns on Rachel with the blackest eyes the tiny brunette has ever seen.

She sees it about to happen. She sees how Santana's hand curls into a fist. She sees Santana tower over her seeing as she's still sitting. She sees Santana pull back her arm, ready to attack. She closes her eyes and braces for impact.

She's sure she would hear herself groan any minute now, but the groan heard in the room isn't her own. So Rachel opens her eyes, and she's greeted with a sight that makes her breath catch.

Hazel eyes are merely inches from her own.

The goddess' face contorts in disguised pain, however, and Rachel's eyes widen. She hears Santana curse, and sees Dani hurry over to the blonde's side. The girl waves Dani away and takes her arms off from where they're perched on the back of Rachel's chair. The girl turns and runs a hand down her back, wincing when she finds the spot Santana hit.

"Dammit, Quinn. That wasn't meant for you," Santana seethes with rage, before her face drops at the sight of the girl. Then her eyes fall to her still clenched hand. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit, Q. I'm sorry."

Quinn. So that's the goddess' name.

Quinn frowns at Santana, glances at Rachel one last time, before leaving the room in silence. Santana slumps down on the very clean floor and stares hard at her fist.

"Are you okay, Rachel?" Dani asks her roommate. Rachel nods. The blonde gives her a small smile before she slithers down next to Santana. She carefully, cautiously, takes the girl's fist and unclenches them, before whispering something Rachel doesn't catch to the almost crying girl.

It doesn't take much of Dani rubbing the girl's back and whispering comforting words for Santana to be back on her feet and following Quinn.

It leaves the two roommates to themselves. Dani rises from the floor and runs a hand through her tresses. "Today was eventful."

Rachel sighs as she stands up. "And it's not even breakfast yet."


	3. Obsessive

Chapter Three: Obsessive

xoxo

The mess hall is, for the lack of a better word, a mess. Rachel can't help the way her jaw drops at the sight in front of her.

Mike is dancing on top of the tables with Brittany to some pop song playing from the radio in the far side of the room. Santana is whooping and flailing her fork around, making random bits of her food fly. Puck is inhaling his ten pile pancake tower while Artie and Blaine are cheering him on. Kurt grimaces at the sight. Tina watches quietly from a far off table with a small smile at Mike. Sebastian is in another far off table, eating his breakfast while ignoring the ruckus.

"Is it always like this?" Rachel whispers to Dani as they grab their trays.

Dani nods as she takes a healthy dollop of eggs. "You get used to it after a while."

Rachel frowns as something that looks like bacon flies past them and hits the wall. She grimaces as the piece of meat falls with a loud plop on the tiled floor. "I don't think I can."

Dani chuckles. "You don't really have much of a choice." She watches as Rachel places the same food as she has on her tray, but the vegan substitute. "So... Where would you like to sit?"

Rachel shrugs. "Where do you usually sit?"

Dani looks apprehensive.

"Dani!"

Both girls turn to the owner of the voice. Santana grins, and pats the empty seat next to her.

"That's where," Dani answers with a cautious smile.

Rachel pales. "W-With Santana?"

"She's not really that bad."

Rachel doesn't look convinced.

xoxo

"So, hobbit. What are you in here for?"

Rachel looks up from her almost finished plate. "I don't know."

"Ohhh. So Doc hasn't decided yet. You must be a self-surrender."

"I guess so."

Santana opens her mouth to reply but Brittany beats her to it. "Rach, Emma said I could go see the orcas if I behave."

Rachel smiles. "I don't think that would be too much of a problem."

Santana nods, approving of Rachel's answer. Brittany claps excitedly.

"You're in my seat."

The cold tone is unfamiliarly familiar. Rachel doesn't even know if it makes sense. All she knows is that the voice isn't the same. She doesn't even turn to acknowledge the glare she's sure she'll be met with.

"Chillax, blondie. You can go sit by me." Santana. Rachel thanks her telepathically. The Latina doesn't give any hints of whether she received it or not.

Quinn doesn't say anything as she takes the place offered to her. Rachel can't take her eyes off the girl, noticing that something really is different.

"Hey, Dianna? Can I have your egg yolk? I need eyes for my smiley face," Brittany asks the blonde excitedly.

Rachel furrows her eyebrows. Who's Dianna?

Quinn nods as she uses her fork to separate the yolk from the egg whites. "Here you go, Britt. Can I see it when you're done?"

Brittany takes the piece offered to her and smiles. "Sure, Di." Quinn only hums in acknowledgement.

"Who's Dianna?" Rachel finally asks.

"I'm Dianna," Quinn snaps. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Umm, no. But you're- You're Quinn."

Dianna slams her palms on the table causing most of the food to shake. "I don't like your attitude."

Santana groans as she watches her mashed potato fall to the floor. "Dammit, Dianna. Go grab me a new mash."

Dianna quickly turns back to the Latina. "I'm not your errand girl, Lopez."

"Do it for your roommate, while I explain to tiny here what's up." The Latina's tone leaves no room for argument, and as soon as the blonde leaves, she turns to the petrified brunette.

Dani frowns as she runs a soothing hand up and down her roommate's back.

"Listen, Streisand. I know you're new and all, but you're causing a lot more trouble than you're worth," Santana begins.

"Santana," Dani's tone drops low in warning. The taller brunette ignores her.

"You don't know a lot of things here, I understand. But don't go pissing off all the wrong people. Scratch that, don't piss off anyone in here. You forget where you are. This ain't a hotel."

"I know that-"

A raised hand stops her. "There. First rule around here, don't fucking interrupt me when I'm talking. It'll lead to some broken bones, and I'm not really in the mood for solitary right now."

Rachel raises her hand this time. Santana nods. "Solitary?"

It's Dani who answers. "It's one of the punishments here. Basically, if you break the rules, you get sent into solitary confinement. I'm sure you have an idea of that already."

Rachel nods. Will has already told her the rules. She doesn't think she'd be breaking them any time soon.

"Right. Back to business." Santana pauses and raised her hand up. The two roommates look up to see Dianna a few tables away carrying Santana's new mashed potato pause. "Don't piss anyone off unless you want to die. Got it?" Rachel nods. "All right. I know that we're in a mental institution and all of us are fucked up misfits, but that don't mean we can't find love in here." At this, she shoots a look over to Dani, who shyly grins. "That's obviously true for Mike and Tina, and Kurt and Blaine."

"And you and Dani," Rachel adds.

Santana rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Just, don't fall in love with someone who's taken. You do not want to cause any drama like that in here." Rachel nods. Santana looks over to the table where Dianna is now sitting with Brittany, who's showing her the smiley face she made. "Now. My girl there, Dianna, is a bit... complicated."

Dani sighs. "That's an understatement."

"You called her Quinn before," Rachel finally says what's been bothering her for a while now.

"Because she _was_ Quinn then."

At Rachel's questioning look, Dani answers, "Dissociative Identity Disorder."

"Ah." It finally hits her. The goddess had multiple personalities. The two she's seen already hate her. "How do you tell them apart?"

"You notice the signs." Rachel jumps at the new voice. Dianna drops down next to Santana and hands the Latina her mashed potato.

Santana eyes it hungrily. "You're the best, Di. I could totally kiss you right now."

Dianna chuckles at this. "No thanks. Dani would kill me, and I don't swing that way."

Rachel's eyes drop at the news. Santana sees this and she smirks into her potato.

"Q and Charlie do, though."

Dianna smiles with a hint of something Rachel can't place. "Yeah. Yeah, they do."

xoxo

"_But some words when whispered so quiet_

_Will not make a sound_

_And some truths when buried so deep_

_Will never be found_

_All that I'm asking of you, babe_

_By only one promise you're bound_

_Just tell me that darling you'll miss me_

_When I'm not around._"

Rachel grins as her fingers lift from the last key of the song. Dani grins back at her, mildly breathless.

"That was amazing, Dani," Rachel gushes.

"Thanks. I was wondering if I could, you know, sing something for San."

Rachel nods in understanding. "I'm sure she would appreciate it. But I don't think When I'm Not Around is the song you're looking for."

"What then?"

"Well... What are the emotions that you're trying to convey?"

Dani pauses at this. She runs a hand through her hair, something Rachel has noticed to be a nervous habit. "I don't know. That I feel something for her? Something powerful? Something I can't control?" Her voice drops to almost a whisper that if it weren't for Rachel's highly sensitive ears, she would not have heard. "Something unrequited."

"Unrequited," Rachel gasps in indignation. "Dani, I've been here less than a day, but I can tell you with certainty that it is not unrequited."

"How do you know, Rach?" Rachel opens her mouth to reply, but before she can, Dani cuts her off. "It doesn't matter. Let's not talk about this right now."

Rachel only nods. She knows not to push.

But now they're left in an awkward silence, and Rachel doesn't know how to break it. Part of her wishes to break into song, any song, just to fill the silence. The other part... Well the other part is busy with other thoughts involving a certain blonde goddess.

"So, you and Q?" Dani breaks the silence, and snaps Rachel out of her thoughts.

"What are you talking about?"

"Was it like zing?" Dani asks, grinning.

Rachel frowns. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Did your breath catch when you first laid eyes on her? Love at first sight with an orchestra playing in the background? And when she took the hit for you like a knight in shining armor, did you want to repay her with a kiss?" Dani is still grinning, and Rachel continues to frown at her roommate's teasing tone.

"You're delusional, Dani." Deflect. Deny. Ignore.

"I'm not. That's Blaine's title."

"Blaine?"

"He suffers from hallucinations. But that's not the point."

Rachel huffs. "And what, may I ask, is the point, Miss Sugg?"

Dani's brow raises. "The point, Miss Berry, is that you have a crush on our resident goddess."

Rachel can't stop mentally smiling at the term. Of course she would be accurate in her guesses. But, of course, deny. "I'm not gay, Dani."

At the rather harsh tone of voice Rachel unconsciously used, Dani narrows her eyes, "Do you have a problem with gay people, Miss Berry?"

"My," Rachel exclaims, her face full of indignation. "How can you say that, Dani? You know I have two fathers and I will always support the rights of the LGBTQ community. I'll have you know that at last year's pride parade, I was standing front and center with my dads, supporting people who have the courage to fight for who they love."

"Then why are you saying that you aren't gay?" Dani's raised brow almost mirrors Santana's.

"Are you saying that just because I was raised by two homesexual men, that I'd turn out to be gay myself?"

Before Dani can reply, a throat clearing snaps their attention away from each other. Rachel's glare softens when she sees that it's Will. Dani just ducks her head.

"Do we have a problem here?" Will voice isn't threatening, only cautious.

Dani shakes her head. "Not at all, Doctor."

"Just a bit of a heated conversation."

Will's brows shoot up. "Will there be a need for me to transfer you to a different room? You know we don't condone relationships between roommates."

"No," Dani grimaces. "That wasn't the kind of heated we were talking about."

Rachel nods in agreement. "Also, I think Santana would kill me if I even tried."

Will just chuckles light-heartedly while nodding empathetically with Rachel. "Well, it's not my intent to cut this conversation short, but I need to speak to you, Rachel. Is that okay?"

Rachel eyes narrow at the how Will's voice suddenly dripped with seriousness. She's heard that kind of tone from her Dad countless times before when he would be dealing with recruits who would be deployed to some sort of war zone. It speaks of urgency, and leaves no room for argument.

"It's about why you're here."

And at that moment, Rachel feels strikingly similar to a recruit to be sent off into the battlefield.

xoxo

William Schuester's office is a cozy place. The paint is a warm brown with matching wooden floors. Book shelves line the walls, filled with classic novels and educational textbooks. A large mahogany table sits in the far side of the room, away from the immensely comfortable looking couch and armchair. The only thing missing from the set up is a roaring fire.

Will motions for Rachel to take a seat at the couch as he takes the armchair. She does so, and almost lets out a moan at how snug the couch is. Will's smile only broadens at this.

"Well, Rachel. How was your first day?" Straight to the point. Will learned that dilly dallying with his patients would only cause to trouble.

"It was lovely," is out of Rachel's lips before she can even think of a proper response. It's such a practiced answer, that her own mouth formed the words before her brain had a chance to catch up. She can see Will frowning so she clears her throat and tries again, "It was nice. Breakfast was a bit of a mess, though." Her nose scrunches at the memory of the rowdy cafeteria.

Will chuckles, glad that he can quickly get to Rachel's thoughts. "It is usually like that. Only on breakfasts, though. They're much more sedated for lunch and dinner, so no need to worry." Rachel smiles and hums in acknowledgement. "Are the others treating you good?"

"Much better than I expected, actually," Rachel admits with a sigh.

"What were you expecting?"

Rachel hangs her head in shame. She had been expecting everyone to lash out at her. She had been expecting people shouting and mumbling to themselves. She had expected crazy people. She sighs at her own judgmental thoughts and tells Will that much.

Will nods. "That's understandable. Most people think that when we say mental institution. Erasing that image is actually one of my goals here."

Rachel nods her head, and they fall into silence. Will watches her with a curious eye, as Rachel tries to gather her thoughts. Finally, she asks the question plaguing her since group earlier. "During group... Everyone seemed so... open about why they're here. I just, from what I've watched or heard, most people with mental disorders usually deny that they are anything less than sane."

"That's another one of my goals here," Will admits. "I want to foster acceptance here. I believe that the first step in getting better is accepting that you have a problem. Yes, the thought that you're not mentally stable is scary, and most people would deny it. I think that that kind of thinking leads to more self-destruction than necessary. Ignoring and denying something as big as this would not solve the problem. It would only make it grow bigger, until the sheer size of it is so daunting that it's practically impossible to solve. That's when other doctors resort to simply sedating the patient."

Rachel's eyes are wide throughout the length of Will's speech. She audibly gulps. Ignoring and denying is something that her Dad has taught her since she was a child. He already had enough trouble in the military being a married gay man. Further tainting of his reputation would only cause a bigger loss of respect for him.

She knows that's why she's sent here.

She doesn't know if she can accept it.

Will seems to see this. "Do you believe that you're not meant to be here?"

Her answer is firm and resolute. "Yes."

"What if I told you I already have you properly diagnosed?"

A shiver of fear and uncertainty runs the length of Rachel's spine. She's sure her eyes are as big as saucers now. Diagnosed? She couldn't be. She refuse to be. Deny. Deflect. Ignore. "I'd say you're making unprofessional claims. This is our first interaction with each other and you're already stating that you've diagnosed me for a mental disorder? A bit foolish, if I may be so bold, Doctor."

Rachel's acting skills are exceptional, but under the piercing and scrutinizing gaze of Will, she finds herself doubting.

"This isn't our first interaction, Rachel. You forget that I talked to you briefly when your parents dropped you off," Will reminds.

"And in that short conversation, you've found what you're looking for?" Rachel scoffs.

"I feel a bit confident about it, yes."

The brunette's jaw clenches. "And what did you find, sir?"

"Rachel Barbra Berry. Seventeen years old. Born in Lima, Ohio," Will begins to read from a notebook he pulled out from his pocket. "One of your fathers is Sgt. Leroy Berry. The other one is Mr. Kevin Berry, online journalist."

Rachel nods. The facts are accurate, but they don't prove anything.

"Would I be safe in assuming that Sgt. Berry is as strict at home as he is in the field?"

"Correct."

"And Mr. Berry is often kept busy by his work?"

Rachel doesn't say anything, but her lack of answer is enough.

"And if you were to misbehave, certain consequences would be had?"

Rachel cringes, and she mentally berates herself for it. Still, memories of her mistakes as a child flash before her mind.

"Sgt. Berry has also kindly informed me of your lack of social relations with your classmates. They would describe you as bossy, uptight, and controlling."

What the hell? Is it pick-on-Rachel day today? She doesn't need another reminder that her classmates all hate her. It isn't her fault that they just can't get things done right. It isn't her fault that they don't take the time to make sure everything's perfect.

Will watches her carefully, and when Rachel finally looks up to meet his eyes, he says the words she knows she would hate to hear.

"Rachel Berry, I feel that it is safe to assume that you might be diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder."

xoxo

_Song used is When I'm Not Around by Mark Wilkinson._

_Also, a disclaimer. I do not know anything about the military. Just saying._


	4. Deflect, Deny, Ignore

_Chapter Four: Deflect, Deny, Ignore_

_Notes: Rachel is OCPD, not OCD. There's a difference._

_Also, sucky chapter is sucky._

xoxo

Rachel stares up at the dull white ceiling. Her eyes water at not blinking for so long but she ignores the burning sensation. She can't bear to close her eyes, not even for a second. She would just see the Doctor again and have his words echo in her ears.

_"Rachel Berry, I feel that it is safe to assume that you might be diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder."_

No. No fucking way. There's no way he can be right. There is no way that she really belongs in a place like this. No way. _No way._

She barely registers the door opening and closing.

"Rachel," Dani's voice is soft and tentative. Rachel doesn't give an answer. Dani takes a few steps forward. "I didn't see you at lunch. Did the one on one with the Doctor last long?"

Rachel shakes her head minutely. "I just didn't feel like going."

The blonde frowns as she takes a seat at the edge of the diva's bed. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Rachel closes her eyes and repeats the words her Dad always tells her. Deflect. As long as their attention is not on you, you can hide everything. "How are things with Santana?"

"I know you don't want to talk about Santana." Rachel's face falls, so Dani continues, "But you also look like you don't want to talk about what's really bothering you, so I'm going to be a good roommate and follow your lead."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Dani. But feel free to rant about your day," Rachel returns with a small smile. Dani nods minutely.

"If you thought breakfast was bad, then you're lucky you didn't go to lunch. We had a food fight." The brunette's nose scrunches. Dani chuckles a bit. "It was absolute chaos. Mike's pie even hit the Emma in the face when she came in to intervene. She looked like she was going to die."

Rachel opens her eyes to look at her roommate to find the blonde pulling a panicked face. She burst out laughing and had to admit that the distraction is very much appreciated.

xoxo

Dinner had been a quiet affair. Santana kept shooting strange glances Rachel's way and opened her mouth more than once to make a comment, but a warning glare from Dani shut her up every single time. Dianna kept to herself and ignored the tiny brunette all throughout their meal. The blonde then bolted out of the room after she finished eating. Santana had dragged Dani somewhere before Rachel could talk to her.

That left Rachel to fend off for herself. Somehow, her sixth sense is telling her that going to their room would not be a good idea, so she figures that exploring around would do her some good.

Only, she has no idea where she is. She's sure she made a wrong turn somewhere around the last corridor if the map she memorized is right. But, dammit, she has no idea where to go.

She takes stock of her surroundings. She's in a long hallway that looks like it leads outside. She shrugs to herself and follows the path.

Her breath gets caught when she sees it. A garden. A beautiful, colourful, and magnificent garden thatshe never thought such a dull place would have. But it's there, the small pond in the middle reflecting the full moon in its clear water. The fragrance of the variety of flowers attack Rachel's nose and she can't help but smile.

"Like it?"

Rachel starts, and she clutches at her chest as she turns around. She's greeted by bright blue eyes and a huge grin.

"Brittany. You scared me," the brunette breathes out once she's calmed her thundering heart. "What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing in my garden?" the blonde asks in a faux-angry manner.

"Your garden?"

"Yep. The Doctor said that I needed something that calmed me, so I wouldn't be exploding with energy. Dancing helps too, but being around these flowers is better," the blonde says in a speed Rachel could admire. The taller girl is practically bouncing on her feet.

Rachel smiles when Brittany leads her around the garden. "You planted all of these?"

Brittany nods. "I started when I was seven. I wanted to make my home more beautiful, you know?"

"Your home? This place? Don't you want to go back to your real home?" Rachel asks with wide eyes.

The look Brittany returns to her makes her feel stupid. "What are you talking about, Rachel? This is my real home."

"I-I meant your parents and those stuff," answers the brunette bashfully.

"Why would I want to go back there? My parents sent me here. This is where I grew up. This is my home. This is the others' home too."

"The others?"

"Yeah." Brittany stops to examine the petals of a rose bush. "Everyone who is sent here has no other place to call home. WMMI is sort of the place where rich parents throw their children who don't do their reputation justice." The blonde smiles sadly at this. "Or where people who get rejected everywhere else get sent to."

"But this is a mental institution."

"Yeah. What did you think this place was?" Brittany deadpans.

Rachel frowns. "Nothing. Never mind."

Brittany smiles and plucks the red rose. "Here," She hands it over to the brunette. "I think you have someone you want to give that to."

"Someone? I don't have anyone."

"But don't you like Quinn?"

Rachel's eyes widen and she turns her head to hide her heated face. "No, I don't."

"It's bad to lie, you know."

"I'm not lying, Brittany." Deny. Deny it to yourself and soon, it'll become the truth. Of course she doesn't like Quinn. Or Dianna. The mere idea is stupid, really.

The blonde only shrugs. "You'll accept it sooner or later. No one's going to judge you here. We don't have that right."

"What are you talking about, Britt?"

"We're all mad here. We're all the same." The blonde shrugs as if it's the mosr obvious thing in the world.

"I'm not... No offense, Brittany, but I'm not like anyone here. I don't have a problem." Deny. Deny. Deny.

Brittany frowns. "But you are. You don't get sent here for no reason. But that doesn't matter because-"

"No," Rachel shouts, her voice echoing in the night. The rose is clenched in her hands, the thorns piercing her skin but she doesn't pay them any mind. "I am not crazy."

Blue eyes glue in on the blood dripping from Rachel's hand. "Rachel. You're bleeding."

Rachel doesn't hear her. She shakes her head from side to side. "No, Brittany. You don't understand. I'm not crazy. I can't be."

"Rach," Brittany whispers as she takes a step forward. "It's fine."

"No. No, it's not. I can't be. He's- He wouldn't want me to be." Rachel is openly crying now. She doesn't know why, and she can't understand it, but the tears escape her eyes before she can try and stop them. Her knuckles turn white with gripping the rose too tightly, a pool of blood forming on the ground.

Brittany nods, even if the other girl doesn't seem to see it. She knows how it feels. She knows it, even if Rachel wouldn't want to accept it. So she hugs the girl and holds her close. "It's fine, Rach. It's fine."

But Rachel shakes her head and pushes the taller girl away. Brittany falls, the dirt staining her white shorts. The brunette hesitates for a moment, a hand reaching out to help the girl, before she retracts it. She runs away from the scene and doesn't look back.

xoxo

Rachel doesn't acknowledge the previous night and Brittany doesn't confront her about it.

Breakfast has Mike and Brittany dancing again, only this time, Puck and Blaine are joining in. The others laugh when Puck fails with his hip thrust.

Rachel doesn't join in.

Dianna's quiet as well.

When Santana gets pulled to dance with them, Dianna stands up and leaves her half-eaten tray behind. Rachel doesn't know what possesses her to do so, but she stands up and follows the blonde.

The moment she steps foot into the hallway, she gets pinned to the wall by a slender arm. Hazel eyes lock on to hers with the fire of a thousand suns.

"Rachel Berry," she growls out. "I knew you'd follow."

The brunette gulps and flushes at the proximity of the blonde. "I- You-"

"Shut up," Dianna snarls. "I know you're new here and all, and you probably don't know me. So I'm going to introduce myself." The blonde tightens her hold on the brunette. "I am Dianna Agron. I help Quinn Fabray with all of her bullshit. I got her out of that stupid household and away from that god-forsaken uncle of hers. I kept her safe. I keep the people I love safe. _No matter the cost._"

Rachel's eyes widen when the pressure on her throat increases at the last sentence.

"Now, last night I was taking a little stroll since Santana decided to drag Dani into our room. And I happened to visit Britt's garden." The way hazel eyes darken makes a shiver run down Rachel's spine. "I saw you push her. I don't give a fuck if you had your reasons for doing that, but you ran away and left her crying."

Brown eyes widen. She hadn't know that's what she left behind that night.

"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't beat you to a pulp right now."

"I-" Rachel has none. What reason does she have? Why did she push Brittany, sweet Brittany who was just trying to make her feel better? "I... I'm a coward."

Rachel swears those eyes falter momentarily. But it's gone before she can even understand what it meant. The angry glare is back. "That's obvious. And what do you have to be cowardly for? Can't handle the fact that you're the same as us?"

"N-No. That's not-"

"Really? Then tell me, Berry, what are you in here for?"

Rachel's throat closes up. She looks around, anywhere other than piercing hazel. Deflect, deny, ignore. Her heart thunders against her chest. Deflect, deny, ignore. Her mind pulsating in her skull. Deflect, deny, ignore. Her lips search for an answer. Deflect, de-

Then the pull is too much.

She can't deny it any longer. Her eyes find hazel, and she sees everything reflected in it.

Anger, hurt, sadness, passion. She sees them boring into hers, searching for the same answers she is. Beneath the dark glare of Dianna, she sees the Quinn that shielded her from Santana during her first group. And she can't help it. She feels safe. She hears Brittany's words echo in her head, this time drowning out the disapproving tone of her father.

_It's fine._

"I'm... I'm obsessive." The words taste like venom on her tongue and her mind is reeling. But the small smile, an almost invisible upturn of red lips, and the way those hazel eyes glint with something Rachel can't place (she knows it's nothing bad, though), makes swallowing the poison easier.

She feels it taking over her. It's gripping, trickling in her entire being, embracing her.

It's a warm glower in her chest and she feels nothing but relief and love.

xoxo

_**Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)**__ is a type of personality disorder marked by rigidity, control, perfectionism, and an overconcern with work at the expense of close interpersonal relationships. Persons with this disorder often have trouble relaxing because they are preoccupied with details, rules, and productivity. They are often perceived by others as stubborn, stingy, self-righteous, and uncooperative._

_Previously known as multiple personality disorder, __**dissociative identity disorder (DID)**__ is a condition in which a person has more than one distinct identity or personality state. At least two of these personalities repeatedly assert themselves to control the affected person's behavior. Each personality state has a distinct name, past, identity, and self-image_

_**Intermittent explosive disorder (IED)**__ is a disorder characterized by impulsive acts of aggression, as contrasted with planned violent or aggressive acts. The aggressive episodes may take the form of "spells" or "attacks," with symptoms beginning minutes to hours before the actual acting-out._

_**Major depressive disorder (MDD)**__ is a condition characterized by a long-lasting depressed mood or marked loss of interest or pleasure (anhedonia) in all or nearly all activities. Children and adolescents with MDD may be irritable instead of sad. These symptoms, along with others described below, must be sufficiently severe to interfere significantly with the patient's daily functioning in order for a person to be diagnosed with MDD._


	5. House of Cards

_Chapter Five: House of cards_

_Notes: Angst_

_Note 2: Stupid is my new favourite word ever since my effin professor called me stupid. Stupid._

xoxo

_Like a house of cards_

_One blow from caving in._

xoxo

Santana first saw Dani two hours before the blonde's first group in WMMI.

The Latina had been fidgety that day, the anger and rage slowly building inside of her, and one wrong move would have set her off. Charlie had looked at her with those innocent hazel eyes and she knew she couldn't stay and brood in their room. So she had set off for the communal bathroom.

The moment she entered the stuffy room, she heard those broken cries. Normally, those cries would have set off Snix and she couldn't be held responsible for anything that might happen. But not at that moment. That moment, something pulled in her dead heart. She felt something pull her towards that one occupied stall. She opened the door with a gentleness she never knew she possessed. And the sight that greeted her was something that never left her subconscious.

There was this breathtakingly gorgeous blonde girl that had her head lolled back against the tiles with her eyes closed and tears streaming down her cheeks. Warm water dripped almost lifelessly from shower head, making water and blood mix on the floor. Santana's gasp caused the blonde to stir, and broken chocolate eyes stared back at her.

Santana felt everything at once. She felt everything, everything except the one emotion that have clutched at her heart for so long.

And it scared her to hell.

xoxo

Dani watches Rachel with a frown, her brown eyes never leaving the brunette. "So..."

The shorter girl runs a hand through her hair. "So?"

"Let me get this straight." The blonde straightens in her place at the edge of her bed. "The Doctor said you might be OCPD. And that's why you were acting weird yesterday. And when Dianna confronted you earlier, you actually admitted it to her."

Rachel runs her palm over her face and groans. "Yes. What does that mean, Dani?"

"I don't know. Maybe, it's because you like her," Dani suggests with a shrug. "I know that accepting something like that is really hard, but she helped you with it. So she must mean a lot, right?"

Rachel groans into her hands again. "But I barely know her... And I... I can't be gay, Dani."

"Why not? I thought you'd be more accepting of how fluid one's sexuality can be."

"Because of my two fathers. See that's the kind of stereotype Dad hates. He made sure that we wouldn't fall into that cliché," the brunette explains. "So I can't be gay. It would- It would ruin everything my father has built. He worked so hard to be respected, and if I- if I turned gay, it would be all for nothing."

Dani frowns and shakes her head. "So you're going to deny who you are because of your father?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." Rachel lets out a frustrated sigh before meeting Dani's eyes. "How about you? Did your parents handle you being gay well?"

Dani's eyes widen. "I'm not gay."

"What? I thought- Because of Santana- You're not- I'm so sorry!" Rachel watches as Dani's lips slowly curve up into a sly smile.

"I'm just kidding, Rach. I love lady parts." Dani's smile falls slightly. "And, no. My parents didn't take it well. They caught me making out with a girl, and went batshit crazy." Her voice dips lower and Rachel's frown grows. "They kicked me out and I was homeless for a little more than two weeks. I met some bad people who got me hooked on all the wrong stuff. And, as they say, the rest is history."

"That's horrible," Rachel gasps. An undeniable feeling of fear grips at her heart. She could just imagine coming out to her Dad, much less being caught in the action itself. A deathly shiver runs down her spine. No. She can't do it.

Besides, she doesn't even know if she's really gay.

Dani notices the change in the diva's demeanor and nudges the girl's shoulder. "Hey. I don't regret anything. It led me here, didn't it? It led me to people who accept me, even if they're fucked up in their own special ways. But I'm here with all of you guys because my parents were douchebags." She makes sure that the shorter girl catches her eyes. "Listen. I don't regret anything. You shouldn't either."

Rachel sucks her lower lip into her mouth. "I..." She lets out a sigh. "You're right."

"Of course I am," Dani grins triumphantly.

Rachel rolls her eyes lightheartedly. "No regrets."

xoxo

Dani walks around the empty corridors she now has memorized by heart. The lone sound of the soles of her shoes slapping against the immaculately clean tiles is calming, her steps taking a steady rhythm.

She knows that she can walk these halls all day and not meet anyone. Everyone's outside, soaking up the rare sunny day. Dianna and Santana had gone out for a run, and Dani knows how competitive the roommates can be.

She pauses in the middle of the hall, a smile taking over her features. Santana. The girls is an enigma that she isn't even close to figuring out. But, dammit, does she want to. She wants nothing more than to break down the girl's walls and fit herself into the life of the Latina.

Her face falls into a frown and she almost scoffs at her foolishness. She can almost see her pounding valiantly at Santana's walls and ignoring all of the brunette's defense mechanism. She sees herself try harder and harder, but it's all in vain. She can't even make a crack.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

The blonde spins around and meets the warm eyes of one Mike Chang. She breaks out into a grin. "Hey, Mike. What are you doing in here?"

The Asian boy takes a few steps towards her and holds up a paper bag. "I got asked to bring out some towels. Santana and Dianna are practically comatose out there."

Dani chuckles at that. She can actually imagine the two lying down on the grass, insulting each other still. Then her face flushes with the memory of the last time Santana had asked her for a massage after a death run marathon with Dianna.

Mike notices this and gives her a teasing smile. "Hey, if this is going to be like last time, choose some place a little less public, okay?" He tosses in a wink for good measure.

Dani flushes even brighten than before. "You heard?"

"Yeah. Tina and I used to go to the same place," he makes a faux-disgusted expression. "Now, not so much."

She playfully shoves him. "Oh God, Mike."

Mike laughs lightly. "Don't worry, Dani. You're a couple and you have needs."

The smile falls off of the blonde's face. "We're not a couple."

He frowns at this. "What? Why?" He watches as Dani struggles to find an answer, but sees none. He sees her fall back into her melancholic mood and he connects the dots. He knows how Santana is. He's put her in his 'bad person' list, but tried to give her a chance when Dani came into the picture. But he should have known that nothing would ever change with people like her. "She's being stupid."

Dani shakes her head in the girl's defense. "She just has some reserves."

"Reserves," Mike scoffs, already feeling anger take over him. "She's just a coward. You deserve better, Dani."

She shoots him a pathetic look. "Do I really?"

Mike gives her a firm look. "Yes. Dani, you can't keep letting yourself get hurt just because she's too stupid to do the right thing."

"She's not stupid, Mike," the blonde depends weakly. The Asian boy just gives her an unimpressed look.

"Look, maybe you love her-"

"I do," Dani breathes out. It feels good to say it out loud, yet at the same time, she can feel dread swallow her. She's sealing her fate, and she knows she would only get hurt in the end.

"And that's amazing. Maybe she loves you too-"

"She doesn't." There it is. The truth. She knows it's the truth. How could Santana love her? Stupid, stupid her. There's just no way.

"_Maybe_," Mike stresses. "I'm not really Santana's biggest fan, you know that. But I'm not stupid either. The way she looks at you... I look at Tina the same way."

Dani flushes at this. She sees how Mike looks at Tina. It's always full of love and unadulterated adoration. It had always been something Dani envied. She wants someone to look at her like that - to look at her like no one else in the world matters except for her. She wants someone - fuck it; she wants Santana to look at her like that. And the thought that Santana would ever look at her like that is-

She shakes her head.

No way. Why would Santana ever want to be with someone like-

"I know what you're thinking, Dani," Mike's voice drops with a serious tone. "Anyone, especially Santana, would be lucky to have someone like you. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise."

The smile that graces the blonde's face is involuntary. "Thank you, Mike."

He flashes her a boyish grin. "Anytime, Dani."

xoxo

"Like fragile ice, anger passes away in time."

Santana's eyes open lazily. The blonde girl's fingers don't stop combing through dark tresses. The Latina looks up questioningly at the girl, wondering what was it that she said that woke her up from her nap.

Dani looks down at her with a soft smile. "It's nothing. I was just thinking out loud."

"I heard anger," Santana whispers, her voice with a hint of vulnerability. Her eyes don't stray from the blonde. She knows what stirred her from her sleep is that word. Anger. It's always been something that she feared would ruin... whatever it is that she has with Dani.

Dani hums distractedly, not noticing the fear in dark eyes.

"Are you..." Santana gulps inaudibly. "...scared of my anger?"

The blonde doesn't answer right away. Is she? Is she scared of the girl's anger? She's seen it before. She's seen the minor incidents. She's seen how Santana came out with a few broken bones in her knuckles, while the objects on the receiving end of the Latina's anger came out destroyed or pummeled. Is she scared? "Yes."

Santana's face falls and she moves to stand up, but Dani pushed her back down. She trails her eyes around the room, anywhere but on the blonde. She could feel the stings of tears in the back of her eyes and she would rather not let Dani see her like that. But the blonde has other ideas. She forces Santana to catch her eyes, and the seriousness and sincerity in hers keep the Latina.

"I'm scared of your anger. I'm scared of everything it can do, how it can destroy you," Dani admits. "But I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared because I know you're a different person than Snix."

The brunette finally tears her eyes away from the blonde and forces herself up. She shakes her head and mutters to herself as she takes steps away from Dani and toward the door. Stupid. It's all wrong. She can't be here. Dani is going to be in danger if she's here. If she continues to keeps her close-

"Are you going to keep turning your back on me?" Dani's voice makes her freeze mid step.

Santana doesn't have to look back to know that Dani's shedding the tears she can't. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about." She hears a faint scoff. "I... I lo-like you, Santana." A strangled sob. Santana bites her lower lip hard enough that she draws blood. "I do. I care so fucking much, and it's ruining me. It's ruining me because you keep turning your back on me. You keep making me feel as though I could never deserve someone like you - like I'm filth or simply some form of past time."

This makes Santana turn to her. She faintly tastes copper on her tongue. "I-" But she has no words. The dejectedness in brown eyes stop her. She caused this. She did this. She's ruining the only girl that can tame her heart.

"Am I?" Dani continues, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. Her hands clutch the sheets beside her so hard that her knuckles turn white. "Am I just a plaything for you?"

Every inch of Santana wants to scream no. Of course not. Dani could never be just a plaything for her. Never. But she sees it. She sees how broken the girl is. And she knows her next words would break her even more. But it's necessary. She needs to keep her away. Away from her. Away from her rage. She needs to keep her safe in the long run. Even if that means hurting her now.

"Yes." She closes her eyes to not see the blonde's reaction. "You say you fear my anger but not me. You lie. Snix and I are the same person." She swallows. She swallows down everything. All the pain. All the fears. She has to protect Dani from herself.

She opens her eyes and is met by a vision similar to that day in the communal bathroom. There is no blood, but Dani's wounds are even deeper than merely physical ones. She did this. She's so fucking stupid for doing this. "You fear me. You should." And with that, she turns on her heels and exits the room.

Leaving in her wake a quietly crying blonde.

xoxo

Dani awakes to the feeling of eyes on her. She opens her eyes to be greeted with sinister ones that reminds her of the devil. There, sitting on the small couch opposite the bed, is none other than Sebastian Smythe, and in his hand is something that gleams in the moonlight that filters in through the window.

"Good evening, Dani," his voice is how she thinks Death sounds like. That and the gleam of the small blade feel comforting to her somehow. "Would you like an escape?"

She sits up groggily. She knows her answer. It would be the same as last time. She reaches out her hand, and feels the cold of the metal that Sebastian hands to her.

The blade is light and shiny. It's escape. It's freedom.

She can still hear Santana's words in her mind.

It's all the prompt she needs to slide the metal along her wrist.

The first drop of blood falls to the wooden floor with a soft thud. Then a steady rhythm - drip, drip, drip - ensues. It's music to Sebastian's ears. The smell of copper and rust penetrate his nose and he grins in pleasure. He sees the tears roll down Dani's cheeks and feels laughter bubble inside him.

He feels alive as he watches her life pool on the floor.

xoxo

_Afternote: *gasp* Will Dani die? *cue suspenseful music*_


	6. My Girl

_Chapter Six: My Girl_

_Notes: Italics are flashbacks. It's the same for flashbacks in future chapters. A filler chapter that's a bit more Dianna-centric._

xoxo

Dianna runs her fingers through her hair in an effort to find something to do with her hand. She's bouncing where she stands, the nervous energy reverberating inside her. Her breathing is labored and her eyes are wide. She can still see it.

It wasn't supposed to be her to find Dani.

xoxo

_Dianna wanted nothing more than to just go back to their room and get some much needed rest. The whole confrontation with Rachel had brought on some thoughts that she would rather not have and it had been emotionally exhausting dealing with everything._

_Things were fucked up enough, she didn't need some stuck-up girl ruining everything for her._

_Ugh. Why did Quinn's mind have to be so-_

_She paused in her inner musings as she saw Sebastian in the middle of the hallway. Really, it was like a scene from a horror movie: dark hallway, evil smile, lightning and thunder from behind. It made a shiver of fear run down Dianna's spine, but she pushed it down. She knew Sebastian. He fed off of fear._

_"What are you up to, Smythe?" she spat out with as much venom as she could._

_This caused the boy's grin to grow bigger, as if he had a secret Dianna would never find out. She swallowed down the bile rising up her throat as she made a mental checklist of where everybody was._

_She just saw Santana in the gym downstairs, releasing some of her rage._

_Noah and Artie were in the game room with Mike, Brittany, and Tina._

_Kurt was in the showers._

_Blaine had a session with the Doctor._

_Rachel..._

_Hazel eyes widened. "What-" Then she remembered seeing Rachel in the game room along with everyone, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone's accounted for. So whatever Sebastian did, no one was hurt._

_Right?_

_"Drip, drip, drip," Sebastian sang quietly, his dark eyes never left Dianna. "Drip drop, the red of life."_

_Dianna furrowed her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. "Get out of my way, weirdo." She pushed him away, but he held on to her arm. She glared up at him, but faltered when she met his deadly stare._

_"Drip, drip, drip," he continued to sing, his voice low and dangerous. "Her clock is ticking down."_

_"Let go of me. What the hell are you talking about?" Dianna growled out as she tried to pry her arm away. But the boy was strong and her held on. "Come on, Smythe. Don't make me smack you."_

_He seemed unfazed by her threats. "Yellow and red mix," he sang darkly. "In the dark, death is rife."_

_"Yellow and re-" And that's when she realized it._

_Dani._

_"Fuck," she growled as she pinned the boy to the wall. "What the fuck did you do?"_

_He let out a chocked laugh. "Spirit escaped the body whose smile is lown."_

_"Dammit!" She pushed him to the wall, smiling when she heard his head collide with the cement. Then she ran to the girl's room. She was sure she wouldbe there if Sebastian was out here. She swung open the door and searched in the dark, with the lightning providing light every now and then._

_"Dani?" she called out. "Dani? Please answer me, Dani. Da-"_

_Her shoes were met with something sticky and she stopped. Her eyes fell to the ground and her mouth opened in a silent scream._

xoxo

Three long vertical cuts along her left arm and countless small other covering the rest of her body. She didn't get to finish marking her right leg before unconsciousness took her.

Dianna feels the bile rise up. She can still smell the blood as if it's still under her feet. She doesn't dare look down. She knows there's still some blood caking her sneakers. Her hands shake at the thought.

The door next to her swings open and Penny, their nurse, comes out sporting a frown. Dianna pushes herself up from the wall and shoots the older girl a questioning look.

"She'll live," she breathes out. "It's close, but she'll live."

Dianna lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Thank God. Is she awake?"

Penny shakes her head softly. "No. She still lost too much blood. Her body needs more time to recover."

"I understand. Umm, have you told anything to the others yet?"

"Not yet, but I'm assuming they're worried," Penny says with a frown. "Dr. Schuester is talking to them right now."

"Right. I'm going to talk to Santana. I need to calm her down before she does anything she'll regret."

"Good luck." Dianna nods and is about to leave when Penny stops her. "Do you know who gave her the blade?"

Hazel eyes bore into the other blonde. Yes, Dianna knows. But she also knows that if she gives a name, Sebastian will only be in solitary for a while. And when he returns, he'll return with a vengeance. She knows what that would mean for Dani. So she shakes her head and she lies.

"No, I'm sorry."

xoxo

"Just be straight with me, Dianna."

The blonde frowns at the anger lacing the Latina's voice. "I need you to calm down first, Santana."

Santana shoots her a glare. "Calm down? I hear that Dani is in the fucking-" Her voice cracks and her dark eyes shine with unshed tears.

"Dani's okay," Dianna says, her voice not carrying the assurance she wants. Is Dani okay? She doesn't even know. "She's okay."

"Very convincing, Agron," Santana spits out. "Now I'm really sure my fucking girlfriend is alright."

At this, Dianna arches her brow. "Girlfriend? Have you finally gotten that stick out of your ass and made her yours?"

"Shut up. Now is not the time for bullshit like that," the brunette snarls. She's shaking, vibrating with the rage bubbling inside her. "Fuck." She's so stupid. How could she have left Dani all alone? After... After everything she said. Why hadn't she thought something like this would happen? So stupid, Santana. And now... Now Dani is-

Dianna grabs the Latina's hands and forces the shorter girl to look at her. "Santana. Calm down. She's fine. That's all that matters."

Santana shakes her head violently. "No. You don't understand. This is my fucking fault, Di. I did this to her."

"No, you didn't," Dianna's voice finds its forcefulness now. "This isn't your fault."

"I told her she was nothing for me."

The blonde sighs. She's only heard her roommate sound like this a handful of times. So broken, so unlike the rage-filled girl. "You'll just have to make things right."

Santana hums in agreement, her sobs threatening to take over her. "What- What happened to her, Dianna?"

"She cut herself."

Santana stiffles a sob at this. She can still see the first time she saw Dani. "And who gave her the blade?"

Dianna chews her lower lip in contemplation. If she tells Santana, the girl might blow up and do something she would regret. But Santana has the right to know. Especially with how she is right now. "I..." To tell her or not. "I'm not sure who did it."

"Bullshit."

The blonde sighs. Of course the girl knows when she's lying. "I'm not sure it's _him_."

Santana lets out something frighteningly similar to a growl.

"But I saw him out in the hallway before I came into Dani's room," Dianna continues. "Scratch that. I'm sure it's him."

"Have you told anyone yet?" The way Santana's voice dips low almost rivals Sebastian's.

Dianna shakes her head. "He'll just come back worse than ever."

Santana nods. They all know what happened the last time anyone ever told on Sebastian. A grave had been dug. "I'll take care of him on my own."

"Whatever you're planning on doing, Santana, don't," Dianna warns.

"I can't just let him get away with do-doing this," Santana snaps through gritted teeth.

"But you can't let yourself go to solitary either. Who will protect Dani if you're over there?"

Santana sucks in a breath. "Don't use her against me."

Dianna sighs. "You're right. I'm sorry. But you know I'm right."

The brunette hangs her head. "Fuck. This is all my fault anyway."

"I told you-"

"No. It's my fault. I need to go to her."

Dianna nods. "She's still out, but Penny might allow you to stay with her."

"She better."

The blonde smiles. "Go get your girl."

"Go get yours too," Santana throws over her shoulder before she walks away.

Once the Latina is out of sight, Dianna plops against the wall. "My girl?" She let her eyes close and lose herself in the feeling of the cold cement.

_Not my girl. You'll have to come get her on your own, Q._

xoxo

_Afternote: Will Quinn come back? Or will it be someone new? *wink*_


	7. Charlie and the Oompaloompas

Chapter Seven: Charlie and the Oompaloompas

Notes: For answers to your questions, please defer to my Tumblr account. Thanks, loves.

Notes 2: Filler chapter, really.

xoxo

Santana wakes up with a thundering headache and she already resigns herself to the fact that today would be a horrible day. Days that begin with headaches always are. Even if there are birds chirping happily outside. Even if there's a blonde girl bouncing on her bed and-

Wait. What?

Santana wipes the sleep from her eyes and looks closer at the girl in her bed. She faintly recognized that the bed is bouncing along with the widely smiling girl.

"Wake up, Sanny!" her roommate says with a huge grin.

Oh, boy. Santana can't fight the smile that makes its way to her face. She never can when she's confronted with the cuteness that is Charlie Fabray.

"G'morning, Charlie," Santana greeted with an unusual smile. "Did you go get breakfast yet?"

Charlie shakes her head, blonde hair flying wildly around. Her grin is face-splitting as she looks at the Latina with innocent green eyes. "Do you think they have ice cream?"

Santana just chuckles as she pushes herself up. "Ice cream for breakfast, Little C?"

The blonde's face is resolute when she says, "Ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

Santana ruffles Charlie's hair, to which the blonde pouts. "That's not healthy, Char."

"But I want it," the blonde moans with a pout. When Santana just stares at her, she juts her lower lip and adds a quiver.

Santana just sighs and rolls her eyes lightheartedly. "I'll see what I can do. Let's get you showered and ready first, m'kay?"

Charlie squeals happily and nods enthusiastically.

xoxo

"When is she going to wake up?"

Rachel starts at the new voice and bumps her head on the wall behind her. She rubs the back of her head and blinks a few times to wake herself up. When she finally shakes awake from the haze of sleep, she realizes where she is and panic takes her. Her eyes shoot to the monitor. She's still alive. She sigh in relied and runs her eyes around the room. That's when she sees the tall boy looking forlornly at the unconscious blonde on the hospital bed. "Mike, what are you doing here?"

The Asian boy doesn't take his eyes away from Dani but he shrugs. He also frowns as his eyes take in the image of one of the people he cares about the most. He can't see them, but he knows there are bandages running along the length of her arms and legs. The tube pumping nutrients into her body is clue enough. "She's still going to wake up, right?"

Rachel's heart skips a beat in panic at the thought of Dani not waking up, but she pushes it down. "She'll wake up," she assures the boy and herself. "She's a strong girl."

At this, Mike looks at her. He gives her a small smile. "You are, too."

"Thanks," Rachel mutters. She gazes back at her roommate. "I've known her for less than a month and I'm already-" Her voice cracks as tears find their way to her eyes again.

"I know that feeling," Mike says sympathetically. "She has this way with people's heart, you know. It's such a shame that she gave her heart to someone that doesn't deserve it."

This causes the brunette to look up at him curiously. "Santana? You think she did this because of Santana?"

"I know she did this because of her."

Rachel can see it – the anger in his eyes. She can see the slight quiver in his body and the way he clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white. He seems absolutely sure about his assumption and Rachel can't help but ask, "How?"

"I know people like Santana. And I know Santana," Mike answers through gritted teeth. "She's nothing more than a cowardly petty little girl that plays with people's feelings."

Rachel frowns. "And you don't think Santana actually cares for her?"

Mike scoffs. "Santana knows nothing but rage."

Rachel is doubtful. She can't help but remember how Santana had been when she found the Latina at Dani's bedside the day before.

xoxo

_Rachel was absolutely terrified when she finally heard the the news. The Doctor had sat them all down at the rec room to tell them what happened to Dani._

_Most of them gasped. Mike had let out something frighteningly similar to a snarl. Brittany stiffled a sob behind her hands. Sebastian ducked his head to hide a grin. Santana and Dianna had been absent._

_And Rachel. Rachel was frozen. Her mind immediately wandered back to that day - after her first night - when she woke up to Dani crying at her corner of the room. Blood soaking up her sheets. That blade reflectong the moon light._

_Her head snapped to her right. She saw him, his head ducked and his hair covering most of his face from the Doctor. But she saw the curve of his lips and the way his hands clenched._

_She remembered Dani telling her that he was the one who gave her the blade._

_She wanted to kill him. To strangle him. To torture him. Anything._

_But before she could even open her mouth to let out a slew of obsceneties at him, a firm hand clasped around her shoulder. She looked up to see the mohawked boy lightly shaking his head no. She wanted to demand why, shout at him and beg him to tell the Doctor of what he knew. What all of them knew. But the seriousness in his eyes stopped her. There were things she didn't know. Things that have been ignored. Things she knew was going to stay the same for days to come._

_She wanted to vomit. She wanted to vomit on Sebastian. At least do something to wipe the smug look off of the bastard's face. But she couldn't. So she opted for the better option. She raised her hand and asked to be allowed to see Dani. Dr. Schuester was quick to oblige._

_The bright hallways of WMMI suddenly felt stiffling as Rachel walked in them. Her ears were ringing with the way the sound of her steps bounced around the silence. It's as if she's in death row and was walking to where she would be hung. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She was not ready. She wasn't ready to see Dani._

"_Oh, hello, Rachel." The brunette faintly hears her name being called. The blonde nurse was blurred in her vision as tears took refuge in her eyes again. "I'm sorry but Santana's in there and I don't think it would be beneficial if you went in there right now."_

_She didn't hear anything she said so she pushed forward and entered the room. There she saw Dani, with her eyes closed, looking as if she was just sleeping. Then there was Santana, a weeping mess in the girl's bedside._

_Rachel had never seen the badass girl look so utterly broken and…_

"_Fuck, Dani. We were supposed to be forever, right? Little puzzle pieces that were thrown out of the big picture and found our match in each other. Perfect, right? Even if the world fucked us up, at least we would still have each other. You're strong, baby. You're supposed to be strong for me. You're supposed to keep me sane in this fucked up world. And I was supposed to protect you. But I was stupid, wasn't I? Stupid. You- You're everything for me. So please, please don't ever leave me. I don't think… I don't think my heart would be able to free itself of the ice if you are lost."_

_Rachel was frozen. She could hear the pain and the love in the brunette's words. And she could see it. She saw the way Santana clung to the bed sheets. She saw how Santana would shatter if Dani would leave her._

_It's love in its most honest form._

xoxo

"She loves her," Rachel defends the Latina.

Mike shoots a worried glance her way. "Is it the truth? Or are you just drawing parallels?"

"Parallels?"

"Dani and Santana. You and Dianna." Mike frowns. "I don't want you to make the same mistakes Dani made. Dianna is not worth your love."

Rachel turns her eyes away. "I'm not in love with Dianna. You can rest assured, Mike."

Mike sighs. "Denial, huh? But, I guess it's for the best. Keep your heart safe, Rachel." He turns and leaves without another glance back.

Safe. Rachel replays the word in her mind. What is safe? Safe is if she lays low for the rest of her stay. Safe is if she follows orders to the T. Safe is not falling in love with blonde and hazel.

She needs to keep safe. That's for sure.

xoxo

As per usual, breakfast at WMMI is lively.

The first thing Rachel sees when she enters the Mess Hall is Brittany inhaling her ice-cream topped pancake pile. The next she sees is the empty spot next to Santana and she frowns.

"Hey, Rach," Mike greets her, his hands filled with his tray. "Don't frown, okay?"

"Tha-That's right, Rachel," Tina quips quietly from beside her boyfriend.

Rachel just smiles at them and watches as they find their usual seats. She sighs quietly to herself and moves toward the food.

"Hey, shorty. Got you covered here," Santana calls out, raising a tray of Rachel's usual breakfast choices. Rachel smiles beside herself and takes the spot next to Santana. "Thank you, Santana. I app-" Her voice falters when she sees wide green eyes boring into her. She ducks her head to hide the flush in her cheeks. "Umm, why is Dianna staring at me?"

Santana nudges her. "It's not Di," the girl whispers lowly.

At this, Rachel looks up. Those eyes are still staring at her. Curious, innocent green eyes.

"Hey, Char. Say hi," Santana instructs.

The blonde girl finally breaks out of her haze and hides her face behind the Latina's shoulders. "Who's the pretty lady?"

Santana doesn't hide the smirk that forms on her lips at the way Rachel flushes. "She's Rachel." She nudges the blonde. "Go say hi."

Charlie bites down on her lower lip contemplatively, before she nods her head with determination. She reaches out a hand and puts on a huge grin. "Hi. I'm Charlie."

Rachel fights back her grin and blush, but takes the girl's hand. "Hi, Charlie. I'm Rachel."

"You're pretty," Charlie says bluntly, and Rachel blushes even more. The blonde then pushes her bowl of ice cream towards the girl. "Do you wanna share my ice cream?"

Santana's eyes widen. "Holy shit."

The blonde frowns at her roommate. "Don't say bad words, Sanny."

"Sorry, Little C," Santana apologizes. "But are you sure you wanna share your ice cream with Rachel? You've never shared your ice cream before."

Charlie pouts. "I can share my ice cream if I want."

"Don't worry, Charlie," Rachel says. "I'm actually vegan so I can't eat ice cream?"

"What is vegan?" the innocent blonde struggles with the word. Then her eyes widen and she gasps. "You can't eat ice cream?"

Rachel nods. "Or bacon."

Charlie frowns and she eyes her bowl of ice cream. "But- Ice cream and bacon are delicious."

Santana grins. "Rachel doesn't know that, Char. Maybe you need to feed her ice cream and bacon for her to find out."

The blonde frowns at her roommate again. "Don't be mean, Sanny. Rachel says she can't, so I won't force her."

Brittany 'aww's. Rachel flushes. And Santana fake-gags.


	8. Visitation

_Chapter Eight: Visitation_

_Notes: Important stuff._

xoxo

It's been eight days since Charlie arrived. Dani had woken up the day before, but still isn't allowed to leave her bed. Everyone's come visit her. Everyone, but a certain short brunette with anger management problems.

The blonde had ignored it. The others had made no comment about it either.

Even innocent Charlie, who would run her mouth sometimes, had kept quiet.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asks.

Dani looks up at her roommate through lidded eyes. Morphine's still being pumped into her. To top it off, she had just taken some anti-tetanus shots that made her drowsy. "I feel like I'm sleeping in the clouds."

The short diva chuckles at this. "God. What are they pumping into you?" She eyes the tubes. "I want some."

Dani laughs weakly. "Yeah? You wanna get on this high?"

Rachel pretends to be thinking. "Hmm... Depends. Do you have kittens there?"

"Uh-huh. A bunch of tiny little kittens around a fuzzy lion."

"What-" Before Rachel can continue her sentence, the door slams open.

Green eyes widen as the girl runs toward the bed. "Dani!"

Dani's eyes widen momentarily before she settles in with a smile. "Hey, Little C."

"I wanted to bring you some bacon from breakfast, but Ms. Penny said you still had to eat from that tube," Charlie points at the tubes pumping the nutrients to the bed-ridden blonde. "That's weird, Dani."

Dani sticks out her tongue. "I'm the master of weird, Char."

The blonde girl giggles. Her eyes flit momentarily to the short brunette in the room and her eyes widen dramatically. "Run away, Rachie, before you catch the weird."

Rachel's eyes widen in false alarm, but the huge grin on her lips give her away. "You're right, Charlie. We should go. She's contagious."

"Eww," Charlie quips, and the two of them laugh.

"Hey," Dani protests weakly, but with a small smile on her lips.

A throat clearing turns their attention to the door, where a presence that hasn't graced the room for days stand. Her dark eyes wander around the room, everywhere except in her blonde counterparts'. "I- Uhh-" She's at a lost for words. Honestly. She isn't even supposed to be here. She'd done good enough with making herself scarce the last few days. Why now?

Rachel sees the hesitation in Santana's eyes and she takes the initiative. She grabs Charlie's hand, ignoring the slight flutter in her chest as she does so, and urges the innocent girl out of the room with promises of ice cream. She chances a look over her shoulder to see Santana with her head hung low and Dani staring out the window.

xoxo

Group that day is dreary. No matter how valiantly Dr. Schue tries to lift the mood, everyone's down in the dumps. Rachel has to be the only one that's bright eyed and preppy.

Santana had slumped in her seat all day, not bothering to give her input. Whatever happened in Dani's room obviously hadn't gone well in the Latina's favor. And when she had passed up the chance to give a witty retort, Rachel knew something's wrong.

So she confronts the girl about it after group.

"Hey, San-"

The brunette turns on her with a blank face and empty eyes. "What is it, Berry?"

Rachel frowns at the lack of insults or expletives. "I just wanted to ask why you're so... gone."

Santana scoffs. "When am I really here? When I'm angry? When I'm at the edge of my sanity?" There isn't even any hint of malice in her voice as she says it. All emotion is drained from her.

"No, it's not that." Rachel tries to reason. "It's just... Group is already so sad and-"

"It's visitation, Berry. It's everyone's visitation day, not just your special weekly visits," Santana snaps.

It's true. Rachel had special weekly visits - or more accurately, check-ups - from her Dad. In the institution's policy, visitations are once a month. "Why is everybody so sad then?"

"Think about it, Rachel. Will Kurt's father be happy to see that his son still thinks he's a girl? Will Puck's mother even come? Will Brittany's parents take a time off their busy schedules and picture perfect daughter to go visit the one they abandoned? Will anyone come for Charlie, when they don't even know it's Charlie?" Santana sighs. "Visitation is just a reminder of how messed up we all are. No one here wants it. Well, no one but you."

Rachel frowns. She isn't all that fond of visitation either. Sure, she misses her fathers, but she could do without the constant interrogation from her Dad. But compared to the others, Rachel finds herself lucky. And she hates the feeling of guilt about complaining. "I'm sorry," is all she can say.

"Don't be. It's not your fault society spat us out." And with that, Santana makes her exit.

xoxo

Rachel smoothes her dress one more time. It's that feeling of anxiousness again. Her heart thunders in her chest as her eyes take in every little detail of herself in the mirror. Her hair is perfect. Her clothes are perfect. It's perfect. Her Dad wouldn't find a single-

She gasps as she smoothes out her immaculate dress again. A crease. He wouldn't have for it, no matter how small. Everything has to be in order.

A knock on her door snaps her from fussing over herself. The door opens and Brittany peaks through. "Your Daddy's here, Rach." She eyes Rachel and says with a small grin, "You look perfect."

"Thanks, B," Rachel smiles. Trust Brittany to always say the right things. But when the bubbly blonde leaves, her smile falls. She remembers what Santana said. No one would be visiting Brittany today. She shakes herself of the thought and runs out to meet her fathers.

xoxo

Well, father.

Kevin sits at the rec room, the designated visitation room, looking utterly lost. His eyes wander around to the two other people in the room - a man wearing a business suit sitting at the far corner of the room, and a teenage girl reading a book two tables from Kevin. Rachel is the first to arrive, so she doesn't know who these people are to visit. If she wanted to know, she will have to wait.

When Kevin sees her, a smile breaks out on his face. He stands to greet his daughter, and engulfs her in a huge hug when she reached him. "Baby, it's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Daddy," the tiny brunette says as she hugs him tighter. "Where's Dad?"

At this, Kevin pulls away. "He's been called to the base. There are some new recruits for the Elite batch and he was needed to look over them."

"Oh," Rachel's smile falls as they both take their seats. Even if all her father does when he comes to visit her is to critique everything, she still misses him. But she knows how important the Elite batch is, and if her father had been chosen to oversee their training... Well, it could only mean good things.

Kevin smiles at his daughter. "I'm sure he would rather be here than in front of those _maggots_."

Maggots had been a term her Dad uses to pertain to new recruits. "Better one than a whole group, huh?"

The tall man frowns at this. "Don't speak like that, Rachel. Your Dad loves you."

"I know," Rachel sighs. "I'm just-"

The door to the rec room slams open, and turns Rachel's attention away from her father. Sebastian storms inside, a frown etched into his face as he trudges towards the man in the corner. The man, whom Rachel assumes to be Sebastian's father, sends a disappointed look towards the boy.

A few seconds later, Tina walks in. She sends a small smile Rachel's way, before going over to the teenager. They hug and sit down.

"Are they your friends?" Kevin wonders.

Rachel scowls Sebastian's way, "Tina, yes. But not him."

Kevin turns to look at the mentioned person and finds Mr. Smythe whispering something to the boy who has his head hung low. It does not look to be going good. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's an asshole," the diva breathes out.

"Language."

"Sorry."

"Anyway." Kevin runs a hand through his hair. "How have you been?"

Rachel smiles at the change of topic. "I've been good."

"How is Dani?"

Rachel remembers the day she mentioned it to her fathers. Kevin had been shocked, while Leroy immediately questioned the institution. He had been assured that new security measures had been implemented. "Dani's fine, Daddy. She's awake now and everyone's been visiting her."

"Even Santana?"

"Yes." A frown finds its way to Rachel's lips. "But it looked like it didn't go well."

Kevin frowns. He's well aware of what's between those two. "That's unfortunate. But I'm rooting for them. They both deserve a happy ending." When Rachel only hums in acknowledgement, Kevin asks, "What about you? Will you be finding a happy ending in here?"

Rachel's mind immediately wanders to a certain blonde, but she shakes it off quickly. "I don't think so," she denies. "Nope."

Her Daddy just stares at her, his dark eyes analyzing her every movement. He knows she's lying, She's always been a bad liar, and would crumble at even the weakest form of interrogation. He knows it's just a matter of time til she gushes about a crush. But when Rachel averts her eyes and hums lowly, he knows something is wrong. "Rachel," he calls for her attention. Another hum is his answer. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Daddy."

"Please don't lie to me, Rachel," Kevin pleads, his eyes on his daughter steady. "Something's bothering you."

Rachel bites her cheek. "It's nothing, really."

"Then look me in the eye and tell me nothing's wrong," her Daddy dares.

The diva hesitates, her eyes finding the blank walls interesting. In the lull of conversation in their table, she hears the soft buzzing sound of the girl with Tina telling the Asian something interesting. The Smythe table is quiet, though Rachel sees Mr. Smythe's lips parting. She knows she's stalling, and she knows her Daddy knows it too. But what can she say? She doesn't even understand anything, and it's killing her.

"You can tell me anything, love," Kevin assures.

Rachel sighs, her eyes finally making their way back to her father's warm ones. She knows she can trust him, but a nagging feeling at the back of her head tells her that he's her father. He would surely not want her to do anything that would ruin their family's reputation. So she opts for a cautious answer at first, "There's... There is something that's been bothering me."

Kevin nods for her to continue.

She bites her lower lip. She doesn't know how to continue. Her Daddy is here, urging her to admit to him something she doesn't even know for sure herself. What can she say that won't make him hurt her? What can she say that won't make him punish her? And that's when she remembers. She can trust her Daddy. He had always been the one to stand up for her when her Dad pulls out his belt. He had always been the one to speak up for her when she was too afraid to. He had been the soft father, and she could trust him. So she takes a deep breath, prepares herself for whatever repercussions her words would have, and says, "I think... I think I may have feelings for someone."

Kevin's expression is neutral. He watches his daughter. He knows there's something deeper in there somewhere. Something more than having feelings for someone. So he asks the obvious question, "Who?"

Rachel gulps. Her eyes wander around again as she searches for her courage. She can already feel tears behind her eyes as images of the disappointed look on her father's face pops up in her mind. Can she do it? She doesn't know.

She feels strong hands wrap around hers. She looks at her Daddy and sees him nodding towards her, a small smile on his lips as if he already knows what she's going to say and wants her to know that it's okay.

So she frees the breath she didn't know she had been holding. "I think I may have feelings for Quinn."

Kevin's eyes take on a confused tone. "Quinn? Who's Quinn?"

"Charlie and Dianna, Daddy. Quinn is Charlie and Dianna," Rachel answers.

"Oh," Kevin says as he tries to understand what his daughter had just said to him. "So you're in love with... Quinn?"

Rachel closes her eyes. Is she in love with Quinn? Her mind races, trying to find answers. What she sees are images of haunting hazel eyes and beautiful blonde hair. What she sees are all of Quinn's personalities, each one of them saving her time and time again. Quinn saved her from Santana's anger. Dianna saved her from her denial. Charlie saved her from almost falling apart. And she finds her answer. "Yes," she breathes out. "I'm in love with Quinn. With all of Quinn."

She opens her eyes, fully expecting to be met with angry ones, but instead finds a small smile on her Daddy's lips.

xoxo

Rachel leaves the rec room with a small bounce in her steps. Everything feels a bit lighter now, as if she's gotten rid of a really huge burden on her shoulders. Kevin had been wonderful. He always had been the more relaxed of Rachel's fathers. And she's glad that she had been given this chance to confide in him.

She's in love with Quinn.

She smiles to herself.

_I'm in love with Quinn, Dianna, and Charlie. I'm in love with three different people. Without the problem of having to choose just one._

She chuckles quietly to herself as she turns a corner.

"You know, I'm really starting to wonder about you."

The voice startles her and she falters in her steps. She turns around to meet black eyes staring at her with a cloudy gaze. Santana's perched against a wall, a lit cigarette in between her fingers.

"H-Hi, Santana," Rachel greets as she tries to calm her frantic heart. "What are you doing here? Are you allowed to smoke here?"

Santana's gaze doesn't waver, and her face remains blank. "I can smoke wherever the hell I want to smoke," she snarls. "Now, I have a fucking question, hobbit."

Rachel gulps. Somehow, the loss of emotion in the girl is more frightening than seeing her fire. "What- What is it?"

The Latina takes a long drag from her smoke. "Why is it that everything around here suddenly went fucking crazier when you came around?"

"I-I'm sorry?" Rachel doesn't understand Santana's point.

"You should be sorry, you twat," Santana spits out. "You... You fucked up things. It's got to be you. I mean... I have never seen my roommate shift from one personality to another as quickly as when you came here. That shit's got to be unhealthy for her." The taller brunette takes a step towards the diva. "I know it has something to do with you. She's taken with you, and I, for the life of me, don't understand why." She rolls her eyes briefly, before her she finds Rachel again. "And D-Dani," her voice cracks at the name. "You just had to be her roommate. I mean, a blade incident two times in a month? You have to be inspiring Sebastian's inner serial killer."

She can see it. Rachel sees it in those black eyes. There's the fire. Santana's rage. But instead of it overflowing, it's being bottled up inside. It's building up, like a volcano just waiting to erupt. She knows that if she makes one wrong move, the cap the cigarette seems to be making on that fire will pop open and it would be hell for her. She doesn't understand what's wrong, but Santana's words stick to her. Is everything her fault? She had tried so hard not to ruin anything.

The Latina's eyes are searching for an answer. An answer Rachel can't give. Thankfully, the sound of new footsteps make its way over to them.

"Sanny, Rachie," Charlie greets.

Santana's eyes visibly relaxes. She throws the cigarette over her shoulder and turns to her roommate. "What is it, Little C?"

"Nothing," Charlie says with a grin. "I just wanted to see if Rachie wanted to play with me in the garden."

"I-" Santana's eyes turn to Rachel, who's still standing frozen. "Yeah. You can go take her."

The blonde lets out a squeak of happiness as she turns her hopeful eyes towards Rachel.

The diva finally snaps out of her fear-induced trance. Her eyes flick over to Santana, who's now avoiding any contact with her, before they find their way to green ones. "Sure, Charlie. Let's go."

xoxo

_Afternote: Don't hate Santana here, please. Just try and see it from her perspective. She's just worried and hurt._


	9. Down the Rabbit Hole

_Chapter Nine: Down the rabbit hole_

_Notes: A Charlie/Dianna/Quinn-centric chapter. Also, two updates in one day. I must love you all a lot. But honestly I'm just excited to get to Chapter 13._

xoxo

Charlie Fabray knows something is wrong with her. She's not stupid or naive. She's observant around her surroundings and she knows how things go. She knows she's in a mental institution. She knows there are other personalities sharing this body. She knows these things. She just chooses not to be affected by them.

She's also not oblivious to what happened in the past.

There's that nagging feeling, a thought at the back of her head. She knows her brain is blocking out that memory for her. She's not supposed to be privy to it. She's supposed to be the part of Quinn that's innocent. She's supposed to be the bottled up part, the small essence, of Quinn's happy childhood. So, yes, she's supposed to be a child. She is a child. But she still knows everything.

She knows the shadows that haunt her in her dreams.

She knows evil.

She's seen its face.

But she's determined to protect Quinn, every part of Quinn.

So she buries it all away.

xoxo

Charlie skips down the hallway, her arms swinging by her sides. She's humming a soft tune in a matching beat to the rhythmic footsteps following her. She chances a look over her shoulder, and finds amused brown eyes watching her. She flashes the diva a smile, before continuing her trek down the hall.

"Are we really going to the garden?" she hears Rachel ask.

The blonde nods. "Yep. Don't you want to?"

"I want to. I'm just worried about Brittany," the brunette admits.

"Well, don't be. Britt won't have a problem with it," Charlie assures. She's certain Brittany won't. Brittany Pierce is her best friend. She's the ray of happiness of the place when Charlie is gone. She's Charlie's partner in crime. Santana, on the other hand, is Dianna's best friend. Somehow, they complement each other, in ways Charlie doesn't understand.

"If you say so."

Charlie loves the way she feels around Rachel. Brittany's told her about it once before. Tina has too. Love. That's what they called it. Charlie's not sure, though. Her vague memory of love isn't good, and she's sure she doesn't want that to happen with Rachel. "That's right. What I say goes."

Melodious laughter erupts from behind her.

She wants a new version of love - the happy version. She wants to give Quinn that, that happy love, with Rachel.

She may be a child, but she's a child with a plan.

xoxo

"This place really is beautiful," Rachel gushes as her fingers graze tenderly over the flowers adorning Brittany's garden. Her eyes are fixed on a lone yellow rose in the midst of red ones.

Charlie spins from her place in front of Rachel to face the girl fully. Her eyes find the short brunette as she says, "Yup. Beautiful."

Rachel looks up at this, a small smile playing on her lips. The blonde flashes her a huge grin in return before she turns around again to head for the huge tree atop a small hill near the back of the garden. It overlooks everything, like a solitary island in midst of a colorful sea. The two find themselves at the protruding roots of the tree, and Rachel watches in amazement. The garden is something she had never once thought such a dreary place like WMMI would have. When Charlie makes herself comfortable on a crevice between the roots, Rachel follows suit. She feels her face heat up at the proximity between them, the feeling of the blonde's shoulder against her own sending tingles down her spine.

"Did your Daddy visit you today, Rach?" Charlie asks. She's genuinely curious, never meeting another's father before.

Rachel feels a smile tug at the corners of her lips. "Yes," she answers. "My Daddy, Kevin, came, but my Dad, Leroy, wasn't able to."

A frown forms on the blonde's lips. "Why not?"

The brunette fiddles with the hem of her dress. "You see, my Dad works for the military. He's in the army. He's has a really high position there, but no one really respects him." Rachel sighs. "They don't respect him because he loves my Daddy."

"But that's stupid," Charlie complains. "He's got to be really good to be a soldier. People should respect him."

Rachel gives her a sad smile. "I know, Char. But that's not how they think. So my Dad has to work extra hard to prove himself. He got asked to do this really important job to train new soldiers so he couldn't come visit me."

The blonde finally smiles. "They'll respect them now, right? He's doing a super important job for them, so they should."

Rachel nods in agreement, before another wave of silence falls over them. She's replaying their conversation in her head, a question hanging at the tip of her tongue. She wants to ask it. She's honestly curious, but Santana's words stick to her. She knows these kinds of questions are taboo in a place like this, but she really wants an answer. She wants to know everything, everything about the blonde next to her. But she can't risk it. She doesn't want to hurt the blonde.

To her surprise, it's the girl who opens up the topic. "Quinn's parents don't visit her," Charlie says. "They're mean and they make Quinn cry so I don't want them to visit anyway."

Rachel's heart falls at the confession. She wonders about Quinn's parents. How horrible could they be that Charlie doesn't want them to visit?

"I wanna tell you a story," Charlie says eagerly.

The diva arches her brow at this. "What story, Char?"

"Quinn's."

Rachel's breath gets caught in her throat. What? Is Charlie some kind of mind-reader now? Oh, God. Does she know that Rachel's in love with her?

"Do you want to hear it?"

Yes! Absolutely! Rachel nods calmly.

Charlie smiles and stands up. Rachel's about to ask her what she's doing when the girl finds herself a stick. She finds a comfortable position and begins to draw a house on the dirt using the stick. Rachel watches with rapt attention.

"Once upon a time," Charlie begins. She draws a girl stick figure. "There was a princess named Quinn. Princess Quinn." She giggles and Rachel can't help but smile. "Princess Quinn lived in a beautiful and rich kingdom." She adorns the house with sparkles and flowers. "King Russell," She draws a tall guy stick figure with a crown. "And his wife, Queen Judy." She draws the queen. "Ruled the kingdom. Everyone loved them because they were kind and good."

Charlie hesitates at this. She bites her lip as she draws flames to surround the house and adds horns to the king and queen.

"But they weren't. They were evil and mean. They only showed it to the people inside their kingdom, and was kind to those outside." She sighs and points to the Quinn stick figure. "Princess Quinn was held captive at her own kingdom, with a huge dragon guarding her." She draws the dragon then. "That dragon was her evil older sister, Anastasia. She was mean and she really hated Princess Quinn. She wanted to make King Russell and Queen Judy hate Princess Quinn too, so she would do bad stuff and blame it on the Princess. But the Princess loved the dragon, so she accepted the punishment."

When Charlie doesn't continue, Rachel asks, "What punishment?"

Charlie doesn't answer verbally, but she draws something similar to a whip. Rachel gasps. "The Princess didn't say it was the dragon's fault," Charlie continues. "She wanted the dragon to like her. But when Queen Judy still liked the Princess better, the dragon's anger only grew." She draws angry eyes on the dragon and fire coming out from its mouth. "The dragon wanted to ruin the Princess even more."

"Wasn't there a Prince Charming for the Princess?" Rachel asks, desperately hoping for something happy in this story.

Charlie grins up at her. "There was," She draws a stick figure holding a sword. "His name was Luke, the most popular guy at the Princess' school. He went to the kingdom to fight the dragon and save the Princess." Then Charlie erases the Prince from her dirt art. "But the dragon ate him."

Rachel frowns. "What?"

"Ana made him hers," Charlie explains. Rachel just nods. "Anyway, the dragon still hated the Princess. She wanted to ruin her." The blonde's jaw clenches at this and her grasp on the stick shakes. "The dragon searched for the necromancer's help." She draws a plain stick figure. Rachel notices that her lower lip quivers. "The necromancer wanted the Princess. So he went to the kingdom to go slay the dragon and save her." A lone tear drops on the dirt, falling on top of the Quinn drawing. "But the dragon just let him pass and he didn't save her." Charlie's voice cracks at this and Rachel doesn't even hesitate to wrap her arms around the girl.

The blonde has her eyes closed, sobs raking her body. She clutches desperately at Rachel, burying her face in the crook of Rachel's neck. She can't help it anymore. She sees his face. She sees him. And it just makes her hold on to Rachel even tighter.

Rachel runs her hand up and down the girl's back, trying to comfort her. She feels tears in her eyes as well, not wanting to see Charlie - Quinn - cry.

"He- He," Charlie tries to get out through her sobs. Her voice cracks and she's overcome by more tears.

Rachel holds the girl impossibly closer to her. Had it not been for their close proximity, Rachel is sure she wouldn't have heard the blonde's confession. Her blood runs cold at the girl's words. She stiffens, and she's sure her breath has been taken away. She feels tears prick at her eyes and something clench at her heart. And then Charlie's speaking again. And Rachel wants to cry. She want to cry, and vomit, and kill something. She just wants to do something. But she doesn't. Instead, she just hugs the girl. She holds the blonde close, hoping that it's enough.

_"He did bad things to Quinn. He came to her room at night and did bad things to her. He did it every night."_

_"She tried to tell Ana and her parents. But he beat her first. Her parents didn't believe her, and Ana didn't stand up for her. And her uncle continued to take her every night until Dianna came."_

xoxo

Rachel's eyes flutter open. Her arm and back are sore. She feels something wet on her leg. She blinks back the sleep from her eyes and finally takes note of her surroundings.

It's raining, and her legs are completely soaked. The heavy thing on her arm is in fact a blonde girl snuggled to her side. They're still at the tree, and Rachel isn't sure just when it was that they fell asleep. It's already dark out, so she assumes they've been asleep for a while. She chances a look at the girl next to her, and the memories of a few hours ago make their way front and center in her brain.

Quinn was raped. Quinn was raped by her uncle and her parents hadn't believed her.

Rachel muffled out her sob with her free hand. Unfortunately, the action awakens the blonde.

"You're crying," Charlie states. Her voice is small and Rachel hates the sadness in it.

But sure enough, Rachel feels the tears rolling down her cheeks. She's crying, but she just can't help it. God help her, how can anyone not after learning something like that? She tightens her grip on the girl even if she can't really feel her right arm anymore.

"Please don't cry," Charlie requests, using her thumb to wipe a tear from Rachel's wet cheek. "I don't like seeing you cry."

"I'm so sorry," Rachel gets out through her tears.

The blonde shakes her head. "It wasn't your fault, Rachie."

This doesn't stop the tears that keeps flowing from Rachel's eyes. She really can't stop them. they're just flowing freely. She's not even sure she's breathing because that thing clenching around her heart had now turned into a full on vice-grip.

"Please stop crying," Charlie pleads again. Both her hands now find their way to Rachel's cheeks. She turns the girl's face towards her, and takes in the brunette's melancholy appearance. She's sure her face is no different. "Please stop crying."

"But he-"

The words die on Rachel's lips. No, it's more like the words had been swallowed by the blonde's own. The brunette doesn't really know if the tears have stopped. She doesn't even know if the rain had stopped or not.

All she knows is the warm, soft lips making beautiful friction against her own.

xoxo

_Afternote: There is Quinn's past. What say you, my friends?_


	10. Of Chocolate Chip Cookies and Vegan Ice

_Chapter Ten: Of Chocolate Chip Cookies and Vegan Ice Cream_

_Notes: Fluff, hopefully._

xoxo

It has been three days since that moment under the big tree. The huge ass smile on Rachel's lips hasn't left her since. It isn't even worth mentioning that Dani has just recently been released from the hospital ward and is now walking and talking as if nothing had happened. She's on one of her very few happy moods and it had lifted everyone's spirit in group.

So yeah, Rachel's having an awesome week. Things are looking up, and she actually feels happy for once. She feels like she's on cloud nine. She feels like she is constantly on the verge of discovering something great. She's filled with so much bottled up energy. She's actually skipping now.

Fuck.

"You're practically glowing, R," Dani comments as the two of them walk to group. "I may have to start puking rainbows if you don't tone that smile down."

Rachel only flashes her an even bigger grin. "Deal with it."

Dani's laugh is melodious and Rachel's mood only grows.

xoxo

Everyone's gathered in the room, waiting for Dr. Schue to arrive. Kurt is playing with Blaine's hair. Brittany is chatting animatedly with Mike, Artie, and Puck. Sebastian is brooding in the corner. Santana is trying to distract herself with a book - Harry Potter. Rachel just has to laugh. Dani is talking with Charlie about unicorns or something. Really, Rachel had zoned out of that conversation long ago. It's not like she doesn't want to talk to them. It's just that, how could anyone ever expect her to stay coherent in a conversation where Charlie is practically spewing rainbows from her eyes? That girl is fucking adorable and Rachel had stuttered more than enough time for her burning face to handle.

So she opts to go talk to the girl who's entertaining herself with wizards and magic.

"S-Santana," Damn that stutter.

Said girl doesn't look up from the book. She doesn't even acknowledge the diva's existence.

"Santana," Rachel tries again, her voice not wavering this time.

The Latina sighs but doesn't look away from the page. "What?" she breathes out, irritation soaking her voice.

"I... I just wanted-" Wanted what? "I wanted to ask for advice." An arched brow is the response given to her. "Ab-About girls."

Santana actually looks up this time. Her eyes are wide and her lips are parted slightly. "Girls?" Amusement laces her voice. "You, Rachel stick-up-my-ass Berry, is asking me for advice on girls?"

The diva looks hesitant. Her eyes scan around the small circle until they rest on green ones. Charlie meets her eyes for a second, and similar smiles find their way to both their lips. They break eye contact, and Rachel's find Santana's still amused ones. "Yes."

The taller of the brunettes chuckles. "You really are something, Rachel Berry."

"Are you going to answer my question or what?"

Dark eyes return to the book. "No."

Rachel pouts. "What? Why not?"

There's a pause between the two of them. Santana rips her eyes away from the book to give the group an once over. Everyone seems to be engrossed in their own conversations, so she turns to the diva. "Simple. I don't want you for Charlie." Her voice is low enough for only the two of them to hear.

Rachel is shocked and it shows on her face. "W-What? Why?"

Santana's voice is serious when she answers, "I know about you, Rachel Berry." This time, she turns her whole body to face Rachel and she puts her book aside. Rachel gulps. She knows she's about to be given a beat down in the middle of group. "You can't handle this. You may think that you do, but you're lying to yourself. A girl like Charlie... A girl like Quinn... You're not what they need. They don't need another fucked up girl trying to squeeze their way in their lives and then bail when shit gets serious. You can't handle them. You can't even handle your own brand of crazy. How do you plan on dealing with all of Quinn's shit?"

The diva feels anger rush through her. "You underestimate my abilities, Santana. I won't just abandon them."

"Really?" Santana scoffs. "So when Sgt. Berry decides to drop in and catch you getting your loving on with my roommate, you won't deny her like she's just some piece of trash?"

Rachel is surprised. Santana's tone is serious and her eyes are unwavering. Rachel gulps under the scrutiny. What would she answer? That she would be strong enough to stand up for Charlie - Quinn? She can just see it now. She can see her father's disapproving gaze. She can see him shouting at her, but still maintaining a composed face. It's scary. It's terrifying. She knows her answer would anger the Latina, so instead, she deflects. "How do you know my father's position in the army?"

Santana rolls her eyes as if she's been expecting the obvious deflection. In a way, she has. "It doesn't take much to get the Doctor out of his office long enough to read up on an interesting subject."

Rachel bristles. She knows what Santana means. The girl has read her file, something the diva has yet to do herself. "That's illegal."

"What would they do? Send me to prison? I'm already there anyway."

Rachel sighs.

"Look," Santana says firmly. "I know you may think that you love Q and all, but I'm telling you right now that you can't handle her. You're OCPD. You play by the book. You're safe. You like order. You don't like being taken off guard. All of that shit is going to happen with Quinn. How would you feel if you fell asleep cuddling with sweet Charlie, and then wake up by being kicked off from the bed by a very pissed Dianna?"

Rachel cringes. It's unnerving. But still, there's a part of her that smiles at the image of falling asleep with the blonde.

"You'll probably blow a gasket," Santana continues. "And there's obviously this thing with you father. Quinn's been through enough. She doesn't need to be hidden like some kind of dirty little secret."

Rachel bites her lip and lowers her eyes. She knows Santana is right. She's right, and her words are causing the vice grip on Rachel's heart to tighten.

"Fix yourself up. There's your advice."

The diva looks up to find that Santana has returned to her book and that Dr. Schue has entered the room.

xoxo

Charlie grins to herself as she lets her feet dangle at the edge of the windowsill. Her eyes stare unfocusedly towards the steadily darkening sky. She hums to herself, a happy tune to match her huge smile.

"You look happy, Little C. You get an extra scoop of ice cream or something?" Santana asks from her position on the bed, her eyes still on the book in front of her.

Charlie nods, even if her roommate can't see her. Her mind wanders back to lunch that morning. Rachel had slid her cup of ice cream over to the blonde. So, yeah, Charlie is happy. "It's like my heart is singing."

This time, Santana looks up. She knows what this is about, and she's scared. She doesn't want Charlie to get hurt. She doesn't want Quinn to get hurt. Every ounce of her body is telling her to make Charlie stay away from Rachel. Keep away to keep yourselves safe. But then she remembers what had happened the last time a similar train of thought found their way to her brain, and she shakes her head at herself. Maybe she'd stay quiet on this one. "Why?"

Charlie's grin grows. "I really, really like someone."

"Oh? Who's the lucky guy?"

"Rachel."

Santana feels it at the back of throat. She wants to say something. Protect Charlie before she hurts herself. But Dani's words ring in her ears and she bites the comments back down. Instead, she puts on a smile. "Rachel, huh? Does she like you back?"

Charlie nods. "I think so. She kissed me back."

Dark eyes widen at the revelation. "You kissed her?"

"Yup. Three days ago," the blonde answers like there's nothing wrong with it.

"And you only tell me now?" Santana demands, book all but forgotten.

Charlie shrugs. "What's wrong, 'Tana? You're not mad, are you?"

Santana shakes her head as she wraps her mind around the news. Charlie and Rachel had kissed. And the diva had just come to her for advice. Charlie and Rachel had kissed. Dear God, what is the world coming to?

"Hey, Sanny," Charlie begins, biting her lip in a moment's hesitation. "I wanna take her out on a date."

At this, Santana's sure her jaw hit the floor. "Wha-What? Why?"

"Well," the blonde fiddles with her thumbs. "I wanna show her how special she is and how much I like her. I-I wanted to go show her how much I appreciated her not being mad when I told her about Quinn's past."

"You-You what?" Santana sputters. "You told her about Quinn?"

Charlie looks hesitant at the way Santana's reacting. "I- Yes?"

"Wow," Santana breathes out. She can't believe how so many things had changed. It had taken Dianna more than five months before she confided in Santana about the truth of her past. Sure, those Dianna and Charlie are different, but deep down inside, they're both still Quinn. And for her to confess about why she's here... Santana actually feels kind of jealous.

"So, will you help me? Please?"

The Latina stares at her roommate. She's actually starting to feel bad about telling off Rachel earlier, but she still knows that she did something right. It wouldn't do good for the both of them to rush into something without knowing the reality of the situation. She sighs and readies herself for Charlie's turn. "Char, before I go help you plan your date, I want to tell you a few things. I want you to listen closely and try to understand what I'm trying to say."

Charlie frowns momentarily at her roommate's tone, but quickly fixes herself to put on her serious face. "Okay."

Santana takes a deep breath. "Alright. Char, Rachel is kind of... I don't think she's good for you." At Charlie's frown, Santana quickly follows up with, "Just hear me out first, okay? Rachel is safe. She's afraid to live because she thinks that if she tries to turn away from the norms, her fathers will punish her. That's why she's so anal about absolutely everything. She likes order. She likes knowing things. She likes control. She won't have any of that with you. Not just with you Charlie, but also with Dianna and Quinn."

"But..."

"I'm just asking you to consider it. I don't want you getting hurt when Rachel doesn't choose you over her father."

Charlie worries her lip, before looking up at Santana with determination swimming in her green eyes. "I trust her."

Santana looks apprehensive, her eyes watching for the light in Charlie's eyes to falter. When they don't, she sighs. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"Fine. Now about this date..."

xoxo

Rachel belts out the last notes of Capture by Summer Ames as Dani accompanies her on the piano. "That was good."

Dani nods in agreement. "Yeah." Her eyes shine mischievously. "But you were sharp on a few occasions."

The diva places a hand over her heart and faux-gasps. "Why, I never."

The two of them erupt in laughter, until a throat clearing stops them. They both turn to the doorway, to find a blonde and a brunette.

"That was amazing, Rachie," Charlie gushes with a huge smile.

Said diva blushes and bites her cheek to stop her smile from spreading too wide. "Thank you."

Santana rolls her eyes at them. "Alright. Enough with the love fest. You're making my teeth hurt."

"You're just jealous, Sanny," Charlie sticks her tongue out.

Rachel laughs. "Yeah, San. You're jealous."

The Latina rolls her eyes at them. "Jealous of you two saps?" Her eyes flicker over to the blonde who's keeping her eyes occupied with the piano keys. "Never."

Charlie's eyes follow Santana's gaze and she frowns. She walks up to Rachel and nudges her. "I have something I want to show you."

Rachel nods understandingly. She tosses a glance Dani's way, ensuring that her roommate is fine with this, before following Charlie out.

"I think we should talk," Santana begins.

Dani sighs, her eyes focused on the white keys of the piano. "I don't think we should," she whispers. "Nothing ever goes right when we do."

Santana runs a hand through her hair and lets her eyes make their way around the room. She spots a familiar item on top of a shelf across the room. It's dusty but the colors haven't faded. "Do you remember your first night here?"

The blonde's jaw clenches. She doesn't have to look up to see what Santana's currently looking at. "What if I do?"

"Then you'd remember that while talking about feelings isn't my forte, I'm still willing to try my hardest just to never see you cry again."

Dani chuckles quietly to herself as she throws her hands up to the air. "The universe must hate me, huh?" she asks to no one before turning to Santana. "Or is it just you?"

The Latina offers her a shrug.

"I tried so hard to hate you. I honestly tried to. But now you're back."

Santana smiles sadly. "Please don't sing Jar of Hearts on me, because I really wanna get you back."

Dani's eyes finds the keys again as she lets slip a small smile. "I never stopped being yours."

xoxo

"This is..." Rachel is speechless as she takes in what's become of Brittany's garden.

Charlie smiles bashfully at her, nervously wringing her hands. "Do you like it? I asked Sanny and Britts to help me."

"Like it?" Rachel shakes her head. "I love it."

The blonde breaks out into a huge grin. "I wanted to take you out on a date but I couldn't really do much while in here."

"It's perfect." Rachel says honestly. It truly is perfect. The lights adorning the tree, which she unconsciously claimed as theirs, provides a magical effect for anyone who is to sit underneath. And by the blanket laid out between the roots, the same space where they kissed, Rachel is to be graced with the beauty of the landscape.

"Come on then," Charlie says, tugging on Rachel's hand to lead them there.

Rachel follows, all smiles with tingles running through her arm. The two of them sit underneath the lights, and just as Rachel imagined it would be, it's magical. She doesn't let go of the blonde's hand, and smiles as she feels Charlie entwine their fingers.

"I couldn't cook anything," Charlie begins as she reaches for a Tupperware with her free hand. "So I asked Sanny to teach me how to make these." She pries off the lid, and Rachel is instantly greeted with the delicious smell of freshly baked cookies. Her mouth instantly waters.

"Wow. Chocolate chip cookies?"

Charlie grins. "They're my favorite after ice cream, and since you couldn't eat that, we can have my second favorite. Sanny made me use vegan friendly stuff so it's okay."

Rachel's smile falls from her lips as soon as she takes a bite of a cookie handed to her. "Oh my God," she moans out at the mouthgasm she's suffering from. "These are delicious."

Charlie nods, happily munching on her own cookie. "I know cause I'm awesome and I made them."

Rachel laughs lightheartedly. "And so modest too."

The blonde's answer is a huge grin. She reaches back into the Tupperware to notice that there's another one. That's odd. She had only made enough for one Tupperware. She takes the container, and her eyes widen at the cold surface. She sees a small sticky-note on the lid.

'It's vegan ice cream so no worries that Rach will puke rainbows,' is written in Brittany's loopy scrawl.

Charlie's grin grows as she turns to Rachel, who's already making her way through her third cookie. "Britt's got a gift for us."

"Hmm?"

Charlie presents the tub so that Rachel can read the note. The brunette's grin is as blinding as Charlie's. And as they scoop the strawberry ice cream and inhale their chocolate chip cookies, Rachel starts to wonder how she ever tried to deny something so amazing.

xoxo

_Afternote: Is there anything you guys would like to see for the next chapter? I am exhausted with college work and I really need some help for what to write on the next chapter. I'm thinking of making it a Dantana-centric chapter with a bit of Faberry. Review and I'll give you one of Charlie's cookies._

_Also, to the person asking about why no one has done anything to stop Sebastian yet, you'll get an answer at about chapter 13._


End file.
